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Maybe trying to do the right thing in his eyes!!!!! Mine was even longer ago. Still thats what makes families eh. Life would be boring if we all stayed on the straight and narrow. I must admit I have enjoyed all the intrigue and everything. I wonder if the `other ` side will ever look for my side.I don't think so.

My grandmother was born in 1913 so dont really think so as i have Charles discharge papers and he states my grandmother as his. THere was another girl born 1903 and they married that same year but it has always been passed down the line that this other child was Charles so made her and my grandmother step sisters not half sisters but as you say it is my interest in it all that keeps it going but i dont know how to when i only have the name John Henry Shortland and his adress is the same as my grt grandmothers so where was charles? and why did he take my grandmother on after she was born????
Michelle

Michelle
I have no idea either. It was not during the war was it? With mine the main players are all gone so it is only really my interest that keeps it going. My uncles just like the stories. I have just started looking into my oh family and they have lied from the first generation. Talk about mixed up.

I have a similar problem with my grans family tree on her birth cert it states John henry shortland was her father and her mother was stil married to charles i have tried and tried to find this john henry shortland but other than a name i have nothing to go on.she was brought up by charles so dont know if it was a one night stand or what but vey intruging would love to find out the truth but dont know how to go about tracing this john henry

:o) funny isnt it, even when our relatives say they dont want to know, when you find stuff out, suddenly they are very interested.

Both my parents were not all that bothered in the beginning but now all I keep hearing is 'how far back have you got now?' and 'who was my great great great grandmother?'!!!

I think that secretly, we are all pleased when we find a bit of scandal or some skeletons in the cupboard!!

Julie x

Julie,
Sorry could not answer sooner. Had problems with my server. Pain that it is.
My grandfather died in 1978. I only found this out this month. The last bit really. Where his grandmother went to. He was born in 1875 and she died in 1908. They could have known each other. Seemingly from all the stories my g grandfather was a lovely man and did not deserve all the grief that came later with two of his children. Only my grampa was on the straight with him. Sad really. I think he was trying in some way to save me the grief that may come my way if I looked into his father's family.
Money talks I suppose, in their ways. The fact that he and his family did very nicely , thank you would have no meaning to them as they had washed their hand of the problem of David. Sad but that is life. As was said before , 'you can pick your friends , not you family' is true in some cases. My uncles are facinated as they knew all the players and can't wait to hear of any more info I can find. They are both getting on now in their late eighties and they are like gossipy old women.
Annie

I think a lot of it is to do with the social feeling at the time. Society didnt like things that weren't nice and neat in a box - although if the truth be known, there was probably just as much unmarried sex and illegitimacy then as there is now - maybe even more! People are still people after all.

But the values and morals they allegedly held so dear prevented them from being so open and honest about things - thats true irony really! So things were hushed up and lied about so that the rest of society would see everything nice and neatly.

Then, years later, it becomes harder to admit - not just that these things happened, but that lies were told to conceal the truth - and then you have pride, which can be a killer. After all this time, your Grandfather probably still felt that what was covered up was very wrong - and the standards by which he grew up had ensured that it stayed a secret. It would now be impossible to admit any of it - his pride is too great.

Does your grandfather know you found all this out? And love him just the same!?!

For what its worth, I spent half the night tossing and turning and wondering about all the faceless people in my family tree. I have names and dates and places, but know so little about their lives and problems. And I cannot even picture their faces.

This family history business is so much more than just building a tree of ancestors, isnt it?!

Julie

Tracy,
your story hit a nerve
Your nurture v nature got me thinking. I recently had help from a member to find my gg grandmother. I have been looking for her for years. I became quite obsessed with finding her. Silly I know.
Family story, from her grandson my grandfather. `Don't bother looking for them they don't care.`

....I looked. Found out that my g grandfather was prob illegitimate, but had fathers name. Fair enough, could not find a birth cert (1851) did not worry too much about that. She then disappears, no marriage or death cert, no census, nothing in the area. Found the father on census and he actually said on the census that he was married to her???
.A few weeks ag oI asked on the boards to see if anyone had any ideas of where to go next and a lovely lady said she had found her at the opposite end of Scotland , remarried 3 kids and the first son on the census as her Nephew. Definately her , got the certs to prove it
. How awful to be not known as your son. I understand she had a new family etc, but it did change my views of her. It also tied in with the family story of being sent to Perth for his job. She was in Perth.
Do you know what hurt more. When I asked all these questions about my grandfathers family he said he did not know anything. But on his fathers death certificate he witnessed it and gave the names for the parents. So the old devil did know. He could have saved me years of looking.

The nurture part , even after that his daughter went and done the same thing(gg Granfathers). So I think maybe it is a bit of both. The two men father and son were both complete gentlemen too. My grandfather especially. Sorry it was so long a story.

There are people out there with similar stories to mine....

I think alot happens in people's families they either didn;t hear about or just wasn't mentioned.... Illegitimate birth's etc...

In fact there are people today on this site who fail to believe their GGGGGGGG grandparent had an illegitimate child.....

...the irony is they are probably unmarried with 3 children...... and don't bat an eyelid!!!

Each problem is personal to one another..... my own family tree has been a little easier to do and indeed my partners newly acquired step mother's tree was a dream.... her family never left a village for hundreds of years..... if only they were all like that!

Tracey

I have to admire your persevereance in all of this. Many would have given up trying. Does everyone know the story and how sad it all is? And do they know how much you have tried to find all the pieces of the shattered family?

I do hope you manage to get a decent reconcilation - i wish you lots of luck with that.

You are right - we cannot pick our family, we are kind of stuck with them!! And it calls on the great debate of nurture v nature - how those around you can influence your life in a way far greater than you realise.

Your story makes my one tiny question mark over GGG Granddad Richard seem like nothing at all!!!

x

Sadly her legacy of abandonment carried through the family. When Eli died in the accident he left 6 children. the youngest 18 months old the eldest 15.

The eldest moved into his friends house the next 2 went out to work to help their mother, the youngest 3 stayed at home.

Sadly the youngest became an alcoholic necer married and died younger than 30 alone, the next is my partners father, the next a daughter died in childbirth. The eldest child died early of a heart attack, of the other 2, both had good lenghty lives, one died about 10 years ago of a brain hemmeorage and the other is alive and well but refuses to speak to my partners dad..... the only 2 survivng siblings.

My partners dad had 2 children and left them for another woman and had a 3rd child. His partner then subsequnetly left him..... irionic huh??

Well i started here to find the missing sibling.. we did so 18 months ago after 27 years of searching.... and she is reluctant to have anything but an email relationship with her other siblings...

It's strange how one lady all those years ago set seeds in place that would destroy everything for the decades to come......

Sometime it's not about where you grow up, but the people who brought you up and how,....

A sad tale, and i've managed to unravel it all slowly over the years..... and i'm slowly working on the 2 siblings who do not speak, my aim is to have them talking before the year is out !!

Amazing, you really cannot pick your family....

Tracey

yeah we've hunted high and low for her....

....we think we know the family she belonged to now... so we are just waiting for a Liggins family from Staffordshire to start search for a missing person....!!!

We think her name wasn't Annie but Maria Liggins. We think she took the name of her mother when she died, 'Annie' lost both her parents the same year she married the first guy.

Maria called herself Annie Maria on her first marriage cert and first child born, then she dropped the Maria and subsequently used Annie. We think the age thing was again part of the fraud process, and the fact she was hiding from her first husband !!!

I just find the whole thin fascinating, but sadly cannot put my theories into practice until someone with a Liggins family are missing a member....

Time is all i have... and to be honest i am personally 6 years into this and my partners uncle is 20 years in!!!

She was an extremely horrific mother and wife, who was money driven and cared little for her family.

Her younger son died just after 50 from a stomach complaint caused by the workhouse he was put in, his elder brother was the one who died in the lorry accident, he was 47. She surviived them both, but we have no death associated with her yet as we believe she may have married again.

We also believe her later family knew nothing of their earlier siblings.

Tracey

Gosh thats a tale and a half!!! lol

Are you still searching for Annie? I guess if she couldnt write, its fair to say her numeracy skills werent up to much either, hence the inability to get her name right!

Might sound like a daft question but have you but her and all her associated names and relatives into just a google search?

Julie

oh don't get me started.... the divorce bigamy thing is huge in our lot...

Indeed the guy whom i said died, his mother was a bigamist and a child abandoner....

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards.asp?wci=thread&tk=979682&jump=3964500#3964500

If you fancy seeing how people behaved back then.... it does happen that people did those things. It could be her husband abandoned her and after a period of time assumed he had died....

Tracey

Oh that is so sad! Thankfully I havent discovered anything too sad yet but that is a real tragic tale.

I do have a mystery though. See my other thread - divorce or bigamy... (on the TFF board).

Thanks again for your help.

Yeah was a sad story, he died on his son's 3rd birthday on a nasty stretch of road in Stone....ironically, he had stopped his wagon earlier to tell other drivers about the bad road conditions and ended up later on a victim himself.

Strange how the world goes huh?

Tracey

thanks Tracey - thats what I thought, but couldnt be certain. The more I thought about, the dafter the idea sounded in my head.

Im sorry about your partners granddad.... x

The death is registered in the district it occured...

My partners grandfather died in a lorry accident in Stone, Staffordshire and lived in Lancashire.... his death was registered in Staffordshire (and was a nightmare to find)

I believe all events must be registered in the district they occured in.

Tracey

Can somone please tell me - when a person dies, is their death registered in the actual district where they die, as opposed to where their family home is?

Eg, if a couple lived in Bristol but were visiting family in London and one of them died in London - would the registration district be London, or Bristol?

I know its an odd question, but the more I think about it, the more I am wondering....

Thank you!