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Hi Sue I totally agree, if it wasn't for people like you and Max and the many other people who so generously offer to help many of us would be none the wiser about our rellies. You have helped me in the past and for that I am eternally grateful. I wouldn't dream of insulting any one who offered help. You give up time willingly to help others and I can quite understand why Max is so hurt. So come on all you out there who have sought the help of others please say a big thank you even if info is not quite what you were looking for. Kindest regards to all who help on this site Ann

barry , well said, very good idea, perhaps we might all remember this and put it to use if needs be. from what max said, i got the impression people where actually rude to her. sue.

I think it is very sad that someone so willing to help others has been hurt in this way. So many of you have helped me in so many ways and as I have learnt along the way am now able to help others in my turn! I thought that is what this site was all about! I have so many new friends and always send an e mail to those that have helped me, and everyone I have helped have acknowledged me. Let's hope the hurt Max is feeling right now will soon go away. She is too good a friend to lose! Linda x

What happened? Who has upset max?

Whats happened.... anybody!! Dawn

Hi Sue, Thanks for letting me know what has been happening on Genes, on 'earlies' this week, was too tired to visit Genes, till I received your e-mail. I think Max is a very very brave woman to SHARE the information she has BOUGHT. I think that is where the insult to Max is!! It was her hard earnt money that has PAID for the information that OTHERS acquire FREELY. It is Max's TIME that is also given FREELY. It is her desire to HELP others that has been insulted. When the request for help come FLOODING in, this is where members should have the grace to be patient. It takes TIME to load a disc and search, Max does NOT have magic wand. If this has happened to Max, what about the other members who help, will they withdraw as well. ALL that Max wanted to do was HELP!!! NOT, be insulted Denise M/C

The 'naming and shaming' suggestion worries me a bit. Obviously if someone is clearly rude and ungrateful that's another thing but we're not all good at saying what we want to say. What we might think is a reasonable question or answer can be read very differently by someone else - there's an example of it on the thread begun by Max in London. Isn't it better (and a bit less like a witch-hunt) if someone feels offended they either address the person directly and no longer deal with them? (Is it just me or is everyone else looking at all their replies in case they can misunderstood? lol) David:)

Hello, I also do not know the circumstances, but I am very sorry to hear that one of the very kind people that help on this site has been upset. There is never any need for rudeness of any kind and when someone is trying to help it beggars belief. I am very grateful for the help I have received . I send my best wishes to Max. Kind Regards Vera

WELL SAID I NOT TO GOOD WITH WORDS BUT WITHOUT THESE KIND PEOPLE'S HELP AND THEIR TIME I WOULD NOT BE AS FAR WITH MY RESEARCH AS I CAN NOT GET OUT MUCH THOUGH ILL HEALTH.

hi deborah, we can contact the 'abuse manager' but i personally prefer the name and shame. the damage has already been done ,and someone [like max] has been upset. i would like to know who to avoid in the future, and they would have a chance to explain themselves. sue.

Hi Sue I've noticed on some other genealogy forums there is a tag to report abusive replys etc - this I think would be most helpful to GC and would eliminate the need to name and shame ( although I think sometimes it's the ONLY way to stop the abuse) and will be dealt quickly by GC ( one hopes) . The lack of manners that a few have here is in this day and age unforgiveable!! Much happiness Debi

Hi Sue, I just want to say " A Big THANK YOU " to all the kind volunteers who offer look ups........ and to those who are only offering insults... see how far you can get going it alone without any time and help offered by these kind people. Would they be as eager to do genealogy if they had to put some of their own hard work and time into it or be just as willing to do hundreds of lookups for other people without any personal gain to themselves! I dont think so.. If they dont appreciate the efforts of those on here maybe they should go somewhere else, or chose another (easy/boring) hobby.. like watching paint dry!! Tracey

hi marlene. i agree, lets hope some good comes from this. perhaps people will think more before they type, i hold my hand up to having ,in the past, given out dodgy info on my requests, in the hope that something might come of it. now after doing one or two searches for other members, realise that the more accurate info you give , the more you receive . lets watch out for a politer, more thoughtful outcome on this site from all of us , me included. please lets keep it friendly, hobbies are supposed to be fun, frustrating, but fun. lol sue.:)[thats the best smiley i can give]

Hi All Being greedy I have already put a message on the other thread but it occurred to me that there is a message here for all of us to make the best use of the people and resources on this site. By that I mean we should make every effort to give as much accurate info as we can in regard to names ages places of birth,street addresses if required etc. I have looked at some of the queries and thought how on earth is s/he expecting an answer from a badly worded question, misspelt, with appalling little background and with no notice taken of the heading or the explanation offered by the kind person volunteering look ups. I won't get excited about the grammar at this stage!!) Whether it is GC or some other site it is always sensible to read through some of the questions/replies to see what is possible. Reducing the stress would lessen the burden somewhat I am sure. Trying to second guess my own 'olds' is bad enough without dealing with mistranscriptions and being reminded you haven't answered within 24 hours! Please be kind to those who offer to help, they are invaluable and deserve BOUQUETS not BRICKBATS. (Why don't they have those smiley faces (emoticons?) on this site) Marlene

i must have been really lucky, not once have i had anyone who has been in the slightest bit 'out of order'. lets hope after this no one else does too. maybe these people really do not know they are being rude ? lets hope it really just is ignorance and not meant nastily. has even got me worrying, has anyone done a search for me and i havn't acknowledged it, if i havn't, i apologise, only means i have been busy working and lost the thread , and occasionaly the plot, keep having these 'senior moments' as all my volunteers [ i work in a charity shop] call them. LOL sue.

over the last year i have done hundreds of look ups and have always been thanked. i guess that it is just the odd person that is sooo ungrateful i enjoy doing lookups and dont expect a medal for doing them,but a small thankyou makes you feel as if youve done a great job:):) susie

lol, true paul, some naming and shaming might be in order if this site is going to get ruined by 'the few', sue.

Sue, While I agree with the sentiments wholeheartedly, I have to think that in many cases these people DON'T realise it's them being talked about - the ruder the person the thicker the skin (and the thicker the head) I'm afraid. There is no need for it though, there really isn't. We're all heer for the same reason (more or less). Paul

hi all, i dont know the ins and outs of the problems max has been having, but others probably do. the reason so many of us visit this site, is because of people like max. anyone who has been visiting this site knows we have lost other very helpful people in the past for various reasons, and i am sure that you will all agree we cannot afford for this to happen. this site would not be worth visiting if no one on it had any info. or if the people who had info didn't offer to help, in case someone was going to be rude or ungrateful ! yes, i know this can be frustrating [yes william randall walker, wherever you were, i am thinking of you !!!] but when some of max, and other peoples threads are into the 300's. well i am not surprised there might be a wait, still cheaper than the train fare. i dare say the people who she is refering to know who they are, personally i have never come across them, i do not wish to. who ever you are, please BEHAVE and do not spoil it for the rest of us, who do appreciate any help we can get, and help when we can, with good humour, sue.