Genealogy Chat

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and..... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech support: How may I help you?Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And last but not least...Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.' Customer: I don't have a P.Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.Customer: What do you mean?Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

Thanks David, This did me laugh and I will show it to my husband just to prove that there are other people worse than me. I still can't figure out why I have to press start to shut down the computer........must have been invented by a man!!!!!!!

Thanks David - I enjoyed them! Tammy :~)

Oh priceless!!!!

A good laugh!! Thanks. Susan

Thanks David I guess they were all blonde !!! Sarah :-)))))) -sorry to all blondes - there's a big spate of 'blonde' jokes where I live!

WONDERFUL Thanks for that He SHOULD have been promoted you're right, anyone that can stay cool & deadpan like that..... :-)))))) Thanks for the smiles!!

really made me laugh thanks, but dont forget there are Blonde men too !!!!

A few more - enjoy Computer Challenged Females 1. Dell is considering changing the command 'Press Any Key' to 'Press Return Key' because of the flood of calls from ladies asking where the ‘Any’ key is 2. A technical support technician had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. A Dell customer called to say she couldn't get her computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the woman was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the 'Send' key. 4. Another Dell customer called to complain that her keyboard no longer worked. She had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually. 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because her computer had told her she was 'Bad and an invalid.' The technician explained that the computer's 'bad command' and 'invalid' responses shouldn't be taken personally. 6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. She told the technician that the computer had said it 'couldn't find printer.' The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer - but that his computer still couldn't 'see' the printer. 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, 'I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened.' The 'foot pedal' turned out to be the computer's mouse, which she had placed on the floor... 8. A customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, 'What power switch?' 9. An IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support 'I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in after the first two. ' The user hadn't realized that 'Insert Disk 2' implied removing Disk 1 first. 10. A story from a Novell NetWare Sysop: CALLER: 'Hello, is this Tech Support?' TECH: 'Yes, it is. How may I help you?' CALLER: 'The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?' TECH: 'I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?' CALLER: 'Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer.' TECH: 'Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?' CALLER: 'It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional It just has '4X' on it.' At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive. 11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was 'running it under windows.' The woman responded, No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine. 12. And last but not least: TECH SUPPORT: 'O.K. Betty, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.' CUSTOMER: 'I don't have a 'P'' TECH SUPPORT: 'On your keyboard, Betty.' CUSTOMER: 'What do you mean?' TECH SUPPORT: ' 'P' on your keyboard, Bob.' CUSTOMER: 'I'm not going to do that. someone may see me with my knickers down.....!

This reminds me about the first washing machine we bought, we were so proud we invited our neighbours in to watch the first wash, we sat there waiting for it to get going it filled up with water then silence so we waited and waited thinking it might take a little while well after a couple of hours our neighbours went home and we finally read the instruction book and it was on a long soak, we did feel silly.