Genealogy Chat

I have been a GR member since last March and have made some excellent contacts through this site, obtaining lots of information on my and my husband's families which I wouldn't have obtained elsewhere. In fact it's one of the best things I've done (family research wise!). What really annoys me though is when you take the trouble to contact someone and they don't bother to respond! I think thats so rude! Especially when GR has made responding really easy now with standard replies that you just need to click on. I realise that people join this site to obtain more information, but they need to remember that if they expect to receive, they must prepare to give. Some of my contacts which I initially saw as long shots, have actually become a good source of information. I always respond to all of my contacts as quickly as possible and try to help as much as I can. We all lead busy lives - I've got two pre school children and do my research in my 'spare time'. I'm wondering what other GR members have to say on this subject.

This has been discussed loads of times before. People don't reply for various reasons. Perhaps they are no longer members, maybe they put their tree on here after coming across the site by accident and have never been back since, maybe they don't visit the site very often etc I know it's annoying but there is nothing you can do about it unfortunately. Sam x

Thank you for the response Sam. I'm sorry to revive an old subject, I haven't really looked at the message boards before. I'm glad to hear though that other members find this as annoying as I do.

one thing that really puzzles me is..... I have contacted 2 different members now who turned out to be closely related to me...actually I had met both of them back in the 70's. after the initial reply confirming details not a dicky bird! starting to get a complex now that I made a bad impression when I was 10 and that side of the family don't want to make contact again!!! netti (I am nice really - well my kids love me))

Netti Don't take it personally..... I have made contact with a few members where we share ancestors, in some cases GGwhatevers. After the initial flurry of e.mails I have never heard from them again! I put it down to one of two things... They have lost interest and no longer are researching their tree or having seen my tree have taken the info they need (I always give my explicit permission for them to do so) they don't 'need' me anymore :( The sad thing is that those who still have access to my tree on here are contacts from my early days on this site....They are missing out on all the additional info I now keep off site! Chris

For what it's worth, I wouldn't use the automated reply system at all. I never respond to automated requests. If the personcan't be bothered to send a few details, then I can't be bothered to reply. Just a little foible of my own :-) Ian

My thoughts exactly Ian, nothing worse after sending a nice message to somebody to get a reply 'This is not my relative' ugh!!!!!!!

This sort of thing doesn't just happen on GR. I discovered a couple of people with my very unusual maiden name on websites and contacted them via those sites. Initially, both were highly delighted to know that someone was researching the family history and ancestry and asked for details. I sent one of them details of a defnite connection between us, and the other I sent a copy of what I believed was the relevant branch of the tree, which I wasn't then able to connect to my own. After the initial flurry of interest, neither of these people have contacted me again. I have now made the connection with that other branch but, as it seems the person concerned isn't interested, I don't intend to let them know unless I'm contacted again. On GR, I have had several enquiries about people in my tree, sent details of possible interest, then heard nothing more. However, I'm also guilty of the same thing. If I'm working on a particular branch of my own, or my husband's tree, and I get a request about a different branch, I do respond and say I'll come back to them, unless it's plain that there is no connection. However, being a retired housewife, I do have plenty of time at my disposal, so I'm probably more fortunate than most in having opportunities to explore FH. I agree, it is frustrating not receiving replies, but there is no obligation on any of us - it's all purely voluntary. CB >|<

Netti, I think that if you are not a paid up member, you can only reply to each message once. So it could be that they replied, but aren't allowed to send you another message. Have you tried contacting them again?

Ian,i couldn't agree more,i have had the frustration of trying to contact someone who i think is no longer a member,but have recieved a few auto tree view requests.Now i know the very limited info on my tree is of no use to anyone unless they know me,but the enquries i make regarding possible links to other members are always personally written polite requests,asking if xxxx was married to/son of/father to xxxx. I feel it is only common courtesy to do so,unfortunately very rarely do i find that respect shown towards me. At the risk of upsetting many people,i would say the' have nots' have not (in many cases) the inclination to research thoroughly and' have not' the attitude which warrants a reply.What cost a quick Please and Thankyou. That reads a bit too harsh really,but i think you know what i mean. Glen