Genealogy Chat

Please help me? Writting a letter to a person,i believe shares family connections with me. How do i start???Helen

Hello Helen, I would just start by giving them the basic details and ask if they have any connection. Don't forget to send a stamped addressed envelope, because many people especially the elderly would prefer to reply in writing. Good Luck, Maggy

I have written a few letters like this and I usually start by apologising for bothering them but then say you are researching your family tree, and wondered if they had any connection to ...........(whatever the name is). Say you would appreciate any help they could give you (however small) and that you hope your letter hasn't caused any distress (that's if it might be a delicate situation). At this point I wouldn't say how you are connected to the ....person. Send a stamped addresed envelope and also give your telephone number and email address. I usually ask that if they don't wish to make contact that they at least send the stamped addressed envelope back empty, and that way at least you know they have received the letter and you are not waiting and wondering for months if they are going to reply, (I haven't had this happen up to now, as I have usually had a phone call or letter in reply, even if nothing has come of the contact. Kath. x

Thanks Maggy and Kathleen. Now i knew what i have to do. Helenx

Maggie and Kathleen I was interested in your replies as about 2 months ago i wrote a letter to a rellie i found - he was actually a cousin. I did everything exactly as you have suggested apart from the fact i didnt give out my telephone number and never thought of the brilliant idea of returning an empty s.a.e. I have got his telephone number as well as the address. He hasnt answered my letter and am now wondering if i should telephone him. Its most annoying. His Mum was my Dads sister, my parents died when i was young and i lost touch with everyone, i know all the others lived very near each other and most probably kept in touch, all i want are some names from him, and i made that clear. Would you write again or chance the phone? Mo

Mo Jo My instinct is to say write again and include the s.a.e. as suggested - with the please-send-back message. In your case, I'd also add: apologise that you did write before but can't be sure whether the original letter reached its destination* because you foolishly forgot to enclose an s.a.e. - or something along those lines to forestall the impression you're trying to pressurise. Christine *Given the recent sentencing of a couple of guys for fraud for taking on PO deliveries but storing them in skips, and shredding them and putting them into landfill instead, this isn't an unreasonable concern.

Hello Mo Jo, yes I agree with Christine, it is worth another try, but if he doesn't reply this time maybe he just isn't interested or can't be bothered. Good Luck. Maggy

Hi Mo Jo If I were you I would write again and as has been suggested, just say that you have written before, but wondered if the letter had not arrived. Say again that you don't want to be a trouble to him and you know everyone is busy with Christmas, but would he just be able to give you some names and dates from his side of the family. It might be an idea to print out a few family record sheets from the homepage of GR, and send them and say if he finds it easier to just fill them in for you and send them back that will be fine. It might even be worth a try phoning him, as you are quite close relatives. It's not so easy to ignore someone who's on the other end of a phone, but say you'll phone him back if it isn't a convenient time (and don't get put off he says it is inconvenient as this might very well be true) Hope you manage to make contact. Kath. x

Mo, Write that letter. I have just finished doing my letter, and when i go to collect my son i will post this letter! many thanks helen xx

Good Luck Helen!! Sorry if what i wrote was misleading, i did enclose a s.a.e. what i didnt do was ask him to post it back regardless of if there was a letter in it or not. I tried jogging his memory by saying that i was a bridesmaid at his brothers wedding about 50 yrs ago, thinking that maybe if he wasnt interested he might forward my letter on to his brother. The thing is i only traced him through gaining a death cert of his Mums, he was the informant and i got someone to look up electoral rolls and it said he was still at the same address. I know people that i have spoken to who are not 'into' tracing family trees have been quite amazed at how easy it is to gain all sorts of certs and details of people, some have commented that they looked upon it as an intrusion into peoples private lives, with that in mind it took me weeks to summond up the courage to write to him, and i sort of chickened out of having him phone me, thats why i didnt include a phone number. The most annoying thing is that my maiden name was Smith, it has been a real pain in the ........, they all came from the East End of London and all had common names like James and Mary Ann, i can find 100's of them but seeing as i dont know when they were born i am completely stuck. Its so annoying to think he could probably tell me the married names of all my Aunts, even from that i might be able to find them. I did wonder if maybe he was the only millionaire in the family and he thought i was after his money!! Also had thoughts about sending him a list so he could just fill it in, something like, Do you Know who Aunt Emm married, was she Emma or Emily. Think i will have another go, ive got nothing to loose Mo

Well done and Good luck Mo!!! My letter has gone, keep in touch and we will let each other know what happens. Take Care Helenx

I do hope you'll let us know the outcome of this? It's getting really intriguing. Do hope all goes well. Christine