Genealogy Chat

As most of you my know i have been searching for my dad in blackpool and well had some realy good people helping, i went down,put my story in the paper and still nothing. THEN a frined of my family saw me and just had to ask me if i was the daughter of my mum, any way to cut a long story short she asked what i was doing and i told her i was looking for my dad it turns out that she knew mum back then and asked her friends and they came up with a differnt person with a surname RICHARDSON who lived round the corner. Any way i have a few phone numbers but dare not phone as he has i wife and kids,i realy do not know what to now. WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO,I DONT WANT TO UPSET ANYONE.

It seems, with no disrespect, that you seem to be picking off people who may be your dad, how would this person know, just happened to meet you, didn't know who you were and just happen to know someone that knew....? Do you have a father named on your birth cert?

I would give him a ring. What have you got to lose? You could just say that you are helping a friend and are looking for a Mr. Richardson who used to know a Miss......... Say you are ringing all the Mr. Richardson's in the area (little white lie) and just wondered if he happened to be that person. Play it by ear and see what sort of response you get. If his wife answers, just tell her the same thing. Hopefully, he may be keen to talk to you. I don't know the background to your case, so I hope things go well for you. Kath. x

I have not been in this situation, but I would advise caution. This man may not be your dad, he may not know he is your dad. He may not want to know, even if he is. His wife and children may not want to know. And he might not be the kind of father you have in your head. What are you hoping to achieve by making contact? Can you do this discreetly? What will you do if it ends in tears? nell

The bit that concerns me Emma, is you were so convinced that your dad was from blackpool, we did traces and all sorts for you, you cant track him down ,now suddenly seemed to have changed tack. i think you need to do some thinking and some talking ( with your mum as she is the one that know the answer), not Auntie Flo in the street, and be totally sure of what you are doing before you take another step. You could potentially blow some innocent man's life to pieces. No, life isn't fair at all. jess x

Hi Emma, I must say I totally agree with Jess. Tread very carefullly, and consider every move carefully before you make it. You may upset people for no good reason other than gossip. I know you are desperate to find your Dad but be careful Linda x

I, too, would urge caution. Even if you had proof, how can you justify risking breaking up a family?