Genealogy Chat

Does anyone know how to go about arranging counselling? I was asked if I wanted counselling when I put my name on the contact register, but I said no because I didn't think I'd need it. Now I feel that I do need it! I was sent a list of post-adoption centres when I got my birth mother's details from the register, but the only one in London is expensive, and I was wondering if you can get it on the NHS. I have medical insurance at work, so maybe I could arrange some sessions through that. If anyone has had counselling, was it helpful? I find that my friends and boyfriend are amazingly supportive, but I just feel that a professional might be able to put a different perspective on it. S xx

I think that Social Services depts do counselling specifically for adoptees. But your GP should know about it, and I do know that in my GPs practice there is a counsellor who does 6 week sessions for anybody for whatever reason. After that you can elect to go private. nell

Go back to the contact register people and say you've changed your mind. Sure they have people coming back quite often with a change of heart. Also the Counselling should be undertaken by people who understand the diverse problems of an adoptee and are experienced in dealing with them. They would probably more able to put you in touch with the appropriate people than your GP. Sorry that sounds bad in relation to previous reply but don't mean it to be. I had a couple of appointments with the WMPAS who were very helpful and told me that I would experience emotions which at the time I thought I wouldn't but they were right. Might be worth making an appointment with your local Post Adoption Agency. They are charities so probably rely on donations.

Hi again The social services dept that search out you file should be able to provide the councilling free. I thought this applied to all adoptees (unless you are one of the very young ones) i thought you HAD to be councilled before accessing the file. It is worthwhile- you can spill out gut feeling (and reactions) and never have to face them again! They are also unbiased jess

Social services do counselling for adoptees and those that adopt.... just get in touch with your local one and ask for the adoption department... they will come to your home if you wish too..(they did in my case). Good luck. Anne :)))

hi susan when i applied for my adoption file my social worker was very supportive and i could talk to her about my worries.i dont think you should pay to be councilled.i would contact the after adoption people in your area they are very good i found them realy helpfull good luck angie

As my adoption was in the 1950s I had to have counselling before I was allowed to access my birth records. I didn't find it useful but did gain a lot by joining Norcap and reading about other people's experiences.When I went to After Adoption i was dealt with by a very young man who had no personal experience of adoption so again I gained nothing. However a few years later when i sent for the rest of my adoption file--something I hadn't realised I was entitled to do--I was dealt with by a very nice social worker.So all areas probably vary in the services available but personally I feel that sites like this days are a boon to us all.

Hi Susan, My husband was requied to have it because his was before 1970,,but he was not impressed and said what a waste of time it was for him,,,,but else where in the family have found it not a real help,,,,as if you have a very sensitive nature then you can be upset by the smallest detail,,,,,,,, Ask yourself,,,,are you easily upset???can you cope with hard knocks in life???you know yourself better than anyone else ,

Thanks for the info guys. I haven't received any info from Social Services yet about viewing my file. I know I'm not obliged to have counselling, as I was adopted after 1975, but maybe I'll mention to them that I'd like some. I saw a counsellor a couple of times when I was at Uni, but it wasn't adoption-specific, and thus didn't really help! Another option would be using the health scheme I have where I work, but again, this probably wouldn't be adoption-specific. I think SS or adoption centres would be my best bet. S xx

Hi Susan, Glad to hear you have reached a conclusion,and you, perhaps are making the right choice for you,,,,and SW will arrange it,,after all it is their field...... Kay,