Genealogy Chat

I think i may have worded it wrong.The man involved has nothing to do with us.His sister that died was my mums sister that was adopted at 3 months as there mum died and dad was not allowed to keep them.This man himself was adopted and does not want to find and will not let the rest of his family find his real family.As he is so much against it his daughter has said she cant go behind his back and let my mum have a photo of her sister.My mum was upset to find her baby sister had died,but even more now that she cant have a photo.What i am saying is this daughter being too sensitive or as we are not on the other side is she quite right in what she is doing.I like some views as i can go back to my mum and explain better. Thanks to any replies Ann

Sorry Mark ,and i dont mean to be argumentative, that is a bit of a hard nosed attitude- are you an adoptee? do you know what it feels like? I guess not. I would write again, be 'understanding' of the situation and just say that you'd be pleased if she would talk with him sometime and that you hope most sincerely that you'll meet 'before it is too late'. Maybe if it is realistic, you could meet his daughter if she agreed.Once she knows you a little bit better then something could be arranged. I hope something comes out of this for you Love Jess x

Ann, I think that is very unkind regarding a 'photo'surley if you are allowed no contact with this gentleman,who just happens to be ''brother ' to your mother then what harm can be done in them giving you one,,,, also have they stoppped to think that his depression may be caused by him thinking he is the only one left and he has never found his siblings,,,, Kay,

Hi Ann To find the thread about adoption.... Type ... 'adoption/hints and hugs from other adoptees*Chapter 3*' or just the word 'adoption' in the space above where you can look up old threads. The thread was by 'Jess bowbag bobbin dog' Hope this is what you were looking for. Gerri x

Yes, far too sensitive. It was 70 years ago and can't be changed now. Everyone is over 21 and should just accept that what happened was 'for the best' at the time.

What happen to the thread.I felt comfortable on this as everybody had a adoption and came across with views from both sides.My mother now 76 and adopted aged 3 has just last week been reunited with her sister who was adopted aged 2.It was very emotional but brilliant.Mum was one of 12.All the others have now died.We were hopeing that the baby who was just 3 months would be alive,but sadly she died in 1997.Got a copy of death cert and found she had a brother and wrote a very sensitive letter in case we did not have the right person.I waited 3 weeks and got a phone call from his daughter.He was also adopted and his wife opened my letter and quickly passed it over to his daughter telling her to deal with it.Since his sister (my aunt) died he has gone in to depression and will not have adoption spoken.This lady was very nice and said her and her mother could not go behind his back although she has some very nice photos of my aunt but cant let me have any and cant have anymore contact.Are we being over sensitive on this issue as we are talking 70 years?