Genealogy Chat

I am currently writing up my research into my father's family with the aim of making the information available to the extended family, and there is a lot of interest. However I have discovered that one of Dad's cousins was born a month after his parents married. When I talked to the cousin's younger sister who is now in her late 80s, to get what stories and information that she had, she gave me a date of birth for her brother, right day and year but incorrect month. I realised that she had given me incorrect info and what had happened, so for this man I only included the year of his birth. I don't know if she made a mistake, or deliberately gave me incorrect information. Now his daughter has seen that his birth date is missing and has provided this info. I do not know if she knows the date of his parents marriage or not (Family secrets and all that). The last thing that I want to do is cause any upset to any one, particularly the very elderly lady, but I would like the story to include as accurate info as possible. Do I contact the daughter and ask what she would like me to do, but what if she is not aware of the situation? Should I just make sure that the marriage date and birth date are not both on the same page, but included in different sections of the document? That would be relatively easy to do. Anyone got any ideas?? Christine in NZ

Tricky. I think we have to be aware that some of the older relatives might be very sensitive about this. However we cannot change history. If you are sharing the information, it might be kinder to put the facts on separate pages rather than have someone seeing them 'full on' and getting upset. By contacting the daughter you may emphasise something which they might not even notice.

Christine, As you have not included this information,the person may want it down and do there own search to have the information included..so they will find out , Be truthful but dont make a big issue of it,,,, I dont think in this day and age,people are really so shocked to find not all their family relatives,paragons of virtue, Kay,,

Same thing in my immediate family Christine and I for one dont believe it matters at all but as you say the older generation might be upset by it I have an uncle who was not the child of my grandfather and I don't know his father, so have just put him in my tree as if he were the child of grandfather he copped a lot of flak apparently from his half brothers and think thats terrible his mother would have have been awfully upset if she had known about it the mean bu***** as their father was no prize anyway, and then there is my brother who was born 7 months after Mum and Dad married I havn't put him in the tree anyway as he is living and can't be bothered asking him if he sees my tree he can add himself to it if he wants too as he's had two wives and his hers and our kids, too confusing not much help but I would go with the daughter or maybe for the copy they see you can change the facts, regards Lara

Thanks for the comments. Last night I thought that I would phone the daughter, but felt uneasy about that so posted the question. After reading the answers I will do what my other thought was, and that is be vague about the date of birth on the page that talks about the mother's life and then be vague about the marriage date on the page about the son. Then both dates are in there if anyone wants that information in the future but not right in peoples faces. I would really hate to upset the elderly relative who has been so helpful with information and stories about the family. She is so switched on about everything else that I think that she did deliberately give me the wrong month. However her mental arithmetic is not so good and the date she gave me meant that her mother had 2 children 5 months apart, so I actually went and checked the dates. She had birth certificates etc for everyone else as well, but not him! Christine in NZ