Genealogy Chat

Thanks guys.

Hi Chloe. I believe that it is better to ask the questions rather than regret not asking them when it is too late. Regards Alyson

No, you haven't Amanda. Sorry to hear that the letter to your birth mother did not go as you had planned. The gentleman is not related to me, no one is back there anymore (well as far as I know). Will give it some more thought. Thanks everyone. x

Hi Chloe, It's only my opinion so you should do what you think is for the best. When I wrote to my birth mother, I played it down too much. Didn't ask any direct questions, mainly said I was looking for her first husband for a possible connection for a family tree using my original birth name which I thought would make her twig who I was, without upsetting anyone else in the process if they opened it. She just sent my letter back in my SAE saying not seen him since 1957, didn't even realise it was me. Your contact is already aware of you, I don't see it can hurt to ask your question if your rellie is not related to them, it's not the contacts history you are digging into, they simply happened to know them. Apologies if I have read it wrong. Best wishes Amanda

I've now been told by my dad that I shouldn't be so specific, that I should mention that I know family scandals did happen back then, but that he should not hold back in telling me if there were any in my family.... how does that sound??

Thanks guys, you've been a great help. The letter I'm writing is in response to the letter he wrote me today (I wrote him back in January). He called my grandad 'Freddie', or rather the lady who had the memories did. As far as I was concerned, he was never called that but called Fred or by his full name Frederick. The lady even remembered my great aunt's 'nickname' Lue (full name was Louisa). I just don't want to push it. Off to WW tonight, but will post back my final draft, if you guys don't mind having a look again? Chloe

I agre with what Jess was saying. I think they will appreciate you being 'upfront' and asking a straightforward question. They don't have to tell you if they don't want to or can't. The rest of the letter sounds fine. Kath. x

''do not know how to ask you this, and it has probably been forgotten'' You do, You are asking... be positve''I wonder if any remembers'' don't suggest forgotten!! maybe use 'Fredrick Palmer (known as 'freddie')' instead of freddie? Jess x

Would it help to clarify child's grandparents, ie paternal?

very polite and respectful, I would send the letter. Tricia

First of all, I wish to send you my great appreciation for the information you sent me. Thank you very much. Please also send on my thanks to the lady who had a few memories of my family. I will pass on her memories to my cousin, the daughter of Lue Palmer. She will be most grateful. I do not know how to ask you this, and it has probably been forgotten. My grandfather, Freddie, had a child born out of wedlock around 1933. I do know that the child was brought up by his grandparents. My mother believes that this was the reason why they left Summerisland and moved to Maghery. I hope I am not being too impertinent by asking, however, very little is known about the child’s mother. If anyone knows anything, I would be very grateful. But I do understand that some things need to stay buried in the past. I do not think that my great grandfather went off to war. I believe that he might have been confused with his son, also Robert Palmer. ‘Bert’ fought in the Second World War and was killed in action in Tunisia in 1943. I wish to thank you again. I enclosed another S.A.E. just in case you have any information regarding my half uncle. All the best,

I received a kind reply from the estate in N Ireland where my grandfather grew up. I was thinking of sending another letter, to say thank you, and to ask another question.... how does it sound?? see below.