Genealogy Chat

yes please Chris, thanks for researching for us.

It's much easier if they know about you. I phoned an aunt that had known about me (unfortunately she'd died 11 months before) but her husband put me in touch with other aunts. It was a shock to them to find another 6 siblings though from my birth mothers marriage!!!!! that I put them in touch with. Its quite possible that your grandparents have been waiting years for you to make contact - even if your parents didn't get on - though I did hear of a case where the other grandchildren had caused trouble and they assumed the newly found grandchild would be the same - thankfully he wasn't.

Hi Julie, Was just about to offer my help, but see Chris is on it already :O) let me know if you need any help Chris. Think your friend is half way there is the family are already aware of her existance, she should write to her father though, not her grandmother, and see how it goes, also you do not know her grandmothers state of health so it would be best for this information to come direct from her son. Hope all goes well for them. Good Luck Sheila

Thanks Vikki for replying and sharing your feelings on it, interesting to read. Thanks everyone else. Christopher I have mailed you.

There you are - up pops christopher... please mail him the details and let him look, he needs gainful occupying today..he is creating mischief on another thread.. ~jess ~

Hi I am in the same sort of situation. Lots of family and friends from the time I was born know whos daughter I am. He has never contacted me and nor have any of his family. I want to write but am worried about the feelings it will rake up (his family and a couple in mine). At the end of the day though, I feel I was not at fault ( I obviously never asked to be born) lol. I think I will eventually write when I know I have got all my facts correct (as far as I can). It will be just the basics - who I am and what my intentions are/are not and explaining that I am not looking with the intention of causing hurt or harm to anyone but that I would like some information if at all possible. You can probably word it better yourself. Good Luck Vikki xx

Thanks very much Jess. We have checked the names on here, we knew his sister's name too and that didn't come up with anything likely, we tried friendsreunited too and looked through the schools that it was likely to be. I am in an out and offline later this evening, but I will pop in here when I can .

Look out for Sheila or Christopher to reply to you.. They will certainly ( I guess) be able to find likely people for you, hang on in there.No need to post the info for all to see. have you check names on this site? I am about, on and off, today and when i see them about alert them to the fact that they can prob help you. ~jess~

Hi Jess, Yes, her mum is fine with it, not sure whether 'fine' actually extends to support, not sure if she would write the letter. Not sure how old the grandmother is, I am guessing roughly 45 years older than my sister in law, that would make her about 82 I guess. Hmm, never thought of that. Well, if there is anyone on here who thinks they could actually locate the father himself, that would be great, only we don't have a lot to go on, just a name and the place he lived when my sister in law was born. His name is fairly common I guess. I would put all the details up here, only it's not my stuff to share. If anyone could help at all then please mail me. Thanks.

have a read throught the adopted and not ashamed thread - read about the experiences and reaction others have had. otherwise, i suggest keep it brief - how old is the person you intend to write to? If she has the full support of her mother, and her existance was common knowledge, maybe the letter would be better coming from her mother to the grandmother How common is his name, people on here , certainly two who will not doubt spot this thread are seemingly miracle worker at finding people.. ~Jess~

My sister in law is at the point where she is ready to contact her natural father. She's in her mid-late 30s. We have talked a bit about it and she is aware there may be a range of various responses from her birth family and says she can deal with that. She has parents that love her, her mum's husband (and sister's father) adopted her and she regards him as her dad. She's more interested in the history than any burning desire or need. We have a name for the father, we also have an address where we think the paternal grandmother still lives. We're thinking the easist way to find him may be through her. If she were to write a letter, what do you think she should write? Last thing she wants to do is cause trouble, indications from her mother are that there is no reason to think it would cause trouble, but you don't know. Grandmother was fully aware she existed.