General Chat

After years of searching for my dad, my grandad (who i found on this site) emailed me saying he has found my him!! I am awaiting an email containing my dad's address but my mind keeps working overtime. "what if he doesnt want to see me?" "if he wanted to find me, surely he would have checked out the same sites as me" "He has his own life now, surely he wouldnt want me interrupting it"
and so on!!! Its driving me crazy. Im so scared of rejection again but i know if i dont contact him i'll never know.. has anyone gone through the same thing/or emotions?? Could really do with some advice please :-) lisa xx

Hi, similar with my eldest son who was placed for adoption. Met after 21 yrs mixed emotions struggled through few years & called it quits. But no regrets it set my mind to rest by seeing him.
Hope it goes well

Lisa, he might have the same reservations as you.

he might be worried that you would reject him or be
angry.

go with your heart and your gut feeling.

hope all turns out well for you

please let us know what happens

good luck

wendy x

I hope the outcome is a positive one sweetie!

xx

My 2 half sisters found their Dad after 30 years and had a wounderful year with him before he sadly died of cancer, they still see there half sisters.

Prepare yourself for rejection but like you say if you never try you maybe always wondering.

Thoughts are with you.Jay.x

I wish you well and hope your reunion is a happy one.

xx

Lisa there may be many reasons, he might have been searching but in different ways, he might be scared of rejection as well.Or the most likely one is he didn't have a clue where to start.
Once you start on genes its hard to work your way round then it soon becomes second nature and you start to think everyone can do it.
Best wishes and i have a rough idea what your feeling only i haven't found mine yet!!
Tina

~~~~~~~~ waves to all

Hi hun

I agree with everyone and like Pink hope it all works out well for you. (((hug)))

xx

am with Tina on that one, he may not have a clue where to start looking and may be worried abt rejection, which is always a factor in these situations. I have been through "similar" circumstances and things have been very positive.....have my fingers crossed for you..xx

good luck hun xxx

When I was looking for my adopted sister, I used to think "why has she not looked for me, all she has to do is join GR"
When I found her (through adoption contact register, she had been registered on there for 10 years) I asked her why she hadn't looked on GR, her answer was she has never owned a computer nor have her 5 grown up daughters!! 2 years down the line she or her family still dont own a computer and wouldn't know how to even turn one on..

Hi Lisa

A bit like Grand Slam Judie, I "found" my dad 2 years after he'd passed away. It may have been a blessing, cos he could have been a great big disappointment, or it could be a real shame.

The point is that now I'll never know.

So, you asked for some advice, if I could turn the clock back three years, I'd have given it a go. After all, it's a toss up between feeling rejected (bet you've always felt rejected anyway) or not.

On a more positive note, I've been in touch for the last few months with a previously unknown half brother (on my mother's side). He must have gone through the same should-I, shouldn't-I agonies. But he took the plunge, and it's worked out really well.

Anyway, Lisa, the decision has to be yours. whatever you decide, I'm thinking about you.

Let us know how you get on.

Lol

Sue

RG think that is a good point!! We think cos we are here on GR tapping away, we assume everyone else is and if they're not, then why arent they.....

I found my adopted half brother 3 years ago, he was 63 then, he knew nothing (and still doesn't) bout computers.