General Chat

My son has three children they live with him there mum has them at weekend she and her partner works full time she has them from after school on Friday son fetches them back on sun afternoon she has a £80 a month from son for there keep, she now wants son to take them to hers on a Friday after school as she says she cannot afford the petrol money. Son is not in work as he has rheumatoid arthritis also youngest child is disabled so he has loads of money coming in she says son has said no Valxxx

He has them 5 days a week and she takes £80 a month for having them only at weekends??????? Have I got that right?
xx

Hi Valium,

She sounds very selfish.
Your son should receive money from her if she is working full time. Your son certainly shouldn't be paying her when they live with him.

Check with your local CAB and hopefully they will advise. If the CSA are involved ensure they have all the relevant information and facts.

Good luck

I always thought the 'absent' parent - ie the one the children DON'T live with paid the parent who actually looks after them!!
There is something very wrong if your son looks after the children and pays their mother for doing very little!!
Also seems strange that your son isn't actualy earning a wage - yet he pays!!

If this is an 'amicable' arrangement, I should get the CSA involved. If your son has (according to ex) 'loads of money' coming in, that is because he needs it - there are 2 disabled people in the house!!

maggie

Time for an official update, if not with CSA as they are useless, talk to a solicitor. Your son should get some free time with a solicitor if he has no wage coming in. What a star he is, and what a selfish mother those children have.
Wish him all the best,
Lizx

When they first split 12 years ago she was expecting the youngest but did not tell son about baby before he left so family allowence was in her name long story but son was given custody. She kept the family allowence for the older two son let her keep it to keep the peace she has only been back at work a short time son says he is not taking the children and he is not giving her any more money for petrol which is what he thinks she wants.
son says he is not bothered about geting money of her as long as she looks after the children when they are there .

Have I read this correctly?

Mum is getting the child benefit for the children that she's only got over the weekend?
Mum is also working but Dad isn't?

Who is getting the Child Tax credit for these children? This is far more money than child benefit, I hope that the Dad has it

Hi Val
hope your ok love
sounds all wrong to me, get intouch with the child benefit and stuff and CSA it's her that should be paying your son
c
xx

I would suggest he gets an appointment with the Citizens Advice Bureau.

This sounds all topsy-turvy to me.

She, I assume, has the youngest chilld with her, but your son needs to have the child benefit for the older two at the very least.

Your son might have to contribute to the child she has with her, but it sounds fishy to me.

Hope it gets sorted out quickly......................so sad when children are used like this:(

xx

I think she is breaking the law if she is drawing children's allowance for children who are not resident with her.

Ann
Glos

Hi sorry not online yesterday. dad is getting family allowance and tax credit all three live with him have told him all along not to give her anything but he's worries she will not see them as often and he thinks they should see her as she is there mum. Claire she was going to claim tax credit son found out when she was filling forms in she phoned son to ask how much kids and in bank she was not happy when son said he got it she said i should get it as i work. We are fine thanks Catherine..Thanks
for listening to me letting of steam was angry Valxxx

I have my grandson living with me.I was told by his social worker that if his mum wants to see him,she has to collect him and bring him back.When and i say when she has him i do not give her anything. Annie

your son sounds smashing,what a great dad.give him a hug from me.xxxx