General Chat

I have just read this out to my niece and we are both rolling about laughing, that is the funniest thing I have heard for ages, will print it off and take it up to OH and hope he doesn't burst his stitches.


Barbara xx

Eeyore I loved it

My son is a Bricklayer so will copy and paste this into an email for him.

So funny

Regards
Jackie

Hi that's brilliant, laughing so much i can't see keyboard properly for the tears. Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh.

Sue

It first appeared at the Oxford Union in 1958 when the wonderful Gerard Hoffnung included it in his address.

http://www.monologues.co.uk/004/Bricklayers_Story.htm

Gwynne

Told ya,,,lol

Mac,

You need to try this link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxaCfJfw6AY

I never heard this one before, and I'm still laughing!!

Thanks Eeyore!! pmsl

Laura.

I stand corrected.lol :)

I think it's real TLA-priceless isnt it?You couldn't invent it!

Stolen from the Irish lol

I hope that you will understand while Paddy,s
not at work today,,,,

Ray

I am so gullable aren't I ???

So funny.....I nearly wet myself laughing !!

OMG!!!! is is true Eeyore??

Australian bricklayer report

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter
of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.

---------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.

This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.

This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.

This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.