General Chat

Hi Marilyn and Dermot
Dermot that must be the longest and most write up I have seen from you ?it did give me a laugh.a mid all the doom and gloom.

Speaking of hot matches(not that ones you strike and burn,). someone contacted me about my uncles family. he is an uncle by marriage. and I knew him and his family. so now I am sorting things out for her I can go back to 1780.

so here I go nose and pen in hand
see you later

Rita

NEW CHRISTMAS REGULATIONS - POLITICAL CORRECTNESS HEALTH & SAFETY

WHILE SHEPHERDS WATCHED:-

While shepherds watched their flocks by night,
All seated on the ground,
The Angel of the Lord came down,
And Glory shone around.

*The Union of Shepherds has complained that it breaches Health & Safety Regulations to insist the shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided. Therefore, benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs must be available.

Shepherds have also requested that, due to inclement weather they should watch their flocks via CCTV cameras behind centrally heated shepherd observation huts. The Angel of the Lord is reminded that before shining his / her Glory all around, the shepherds must be issued with glasses capable of filtering out any harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory lighting.

LITTLE DONKEY:-

Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road,
Got to keep on plodding onwards, with your precious load.

*The RSPCA has issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry. Also in the guidelines are permitted feeding breaks, and at least one rest break in a four-hour plodding period.

Due to the risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear facemasks. The Little Donkey has expressed his discomfort as being labelled 'Little' and would prefer to being simply referred to as Mr Donkey. Comments upon his height or otherwise are considered to be a breach of his equine rights.

WE THREE KINGS:-

We three Kings of Orient are,
Bearing gifts we traverse afar,
Field and fountain, Moor and Mountain,
Following yonder star.

*Whilst the gift of Gold is still considered acceptable as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations such as Cash4Gold etc., gifts of Frankincense and Myrrh are not appropriate due to the risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions.

An acceptable alternative might be a gift voucher. It is not recommended that traversing Kings should rely on star navigation, and would advise the use of AA RouteFinder or Sat Nav. Both can provide the quickest route and advise on fuel consumption.

As in the case of Mr. Donkey, the three camels require regular rest and food breaks and facemasks for the three Kings are obligatory due to the likelihood of desert dust disturbed by the camel hooves.

THE ROCKING CAROL:-

Little Jesus sweetly sleep, do not stir,
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you.

*Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants due to the risk of allergy and for ethical reasons. Therefore, false fur, a cellular blanket or, perhaps, micro-fleece material should be considered alternatives.

Please note that, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock Baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before any rocking commences.

JINGLE BELLS:-

Dashing through the snow on a one-horse open sleigh,
Over fields we go laughing all the way.

*A Risk Assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to ride. The Risk Assessment should also consider whether the use of only one horse is appropriate particularly if passengers are of larger proportions.

Permission from landowners must be gained before entering any Open Fields. To avoid offending those not participating in the venture, it is required that only moderate laughter is used and not at a noise level likely to be of nuisance to others.

RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER:-

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows,
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.

*You are advised that, under the Equal Opportunities Policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment upon the ruddiness of Mr. R. Reindeer. Name-calling contravenes our Anti-Bullying policy, and further to this, the exclusion of Mr. R. Reindeer from any reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against anyone found guilty of this offence.

A full investigation will be implemented, leading to imposing sanctions such as a ban from hanging up stockings or enjoying Christmas dinner.

AWAY IN A MANGER:-

Away in a manger no crib for a bed?

*Refer to Social Services immediately!!!!

LOL Dermot, will have to give that a try.

Well I've had a nice surprise, grandchildren went home early meaning I got the shopping done unencumbered!! The dog has been walked so time for a coffee and mince pie. I'm not used to any free time in afternoon so feel at a loose end. Will light woodburner in a while and shove dog off sofa, curl up and relax. Biting cold wind again today, north easterly. Heating company mean't to deliver new boiler this afternoon ready for OH to fit after New Year.
Hope everyone is well and warm.

Cath xx

LOVED IT.... Dermot,

I did mix some Bailys with it as I couldn't find any Sherry !

Still haven't made the cake YET !! ......but had loads of drinks ...LOL


Brilliant recipe ....

"All alone in a crowded hall".

May you all have a wonderful and blessed festive Season with this fantastic free recipe!!

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

Ingredients:
* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottles wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the wine again.

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup ... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.

Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.

Go to Starks & Menser and cuy a bake.

Bingle Jells!

Gonna have some chocolate's and a nice glass of Sherry.

So there ........not sharing cause no one to share with !!

I'm on my own......

Testing ...

Hi Dermot,

I never look at my hot matches........I think if members want a connection with me they will PM me .

Its cold here today......in fact freezing ,..... probably not cold as where Stephen is.

Anyone want a nice cuppa tea !
(_)? (_)? (_)? (_)? (_)? .....OOOOOOOOOOOOO mince pies..and cream (__)..

Good news from GR concerning Hot Matches. Read their message.

Morning all..

Rita.... my DIL has just ordered a Crown of Turkey from S's and it cost £28 mind you it is a big one there were others there much more expensive much larger ones !!
I always buy those Crown Turkey's now its so easy to cook & cut and no waste......easy peasy..

These little darlings here are off to the pantomime this afternoon so we are having a peaceful few hours..

Pete had some flowers from my other Son & DIL delivered and they are lovely . I think they were meant for me really ..LOL

The excitement is electric here in this house ..... Father Christmas is mentioned every hour as to get them to behave ..LOL

Getting lunch ready ....

The next census takes place on 27th March 2011
I received my booklet from Anchor our housing retirment trust and they have it in their book.
just incase your interested.

Rita

The Herod children next door are never invited to join the school Nativity Play.

It is so icy here this morning the cars were still.while their wheels were going around in our car park I could hear the crackle as the ice broke

I am too warm, I have opened my bedroom and frontroom windows.I will leave them open for a little while to let the fresh air in.
I sept well but have headache this morning and the snuffles. and my cough is worse today than it was yesterday. so I wont be going anywhere over christmas.

Maddie I hope your feeling a little better this morning?
Pat I hope you have a good break over christmas and I dont mean your arm or leg.
LInda looks like your going to join the flu brigade. I do hope it is not too bad.and by christmas day your be feel so much better.
Catherine the shops will be sold out by the time you go shopping everyone is stocking up.
Jean you are a good girl doing the breakfast this morning and what a choice we have as usualy.
Shelly I had to laugh at your remarks about the turkey my daughter brought. I think they might have put the legs and arms in a bag ans sold them to make more money Lol.

have a good day everyone.
Rita

Morning everyone,
Linda I'm sorry you haven't been well. i hope you are better soon.
Pauline, Thank you for your card.
i hope you all have a very happy Christmas and I'll catch up with you when i get back x

Morning All
Haven't been on for a couple of days think the sleigh ride knocked it out of me LOL !!!
I had to cancel looking after little M yesterday as I had been sick and ended up sleeping all day yesterday not me at all. Today I have awful back ache but at least my head isn't hurting as much.

Pauline thank you for your card I think it came yesterday? Our post has been OK and the postie our regular one has had his christmas box, as did the dustmen , but not the recycling men as the never came on Monday. Did they get an extra day off?

Maddie I hope you feel better soon. Rita I am glad the Dr came to see you and that you arfe improving. And finally Marilyn so pleased Pete finally got home, give him a distance hug from me and watch what he eats for now eh.

Linda :o) XxXX

Morning all,
didnt get a chance to pop in and say hello yesterday, sorry.
Freezing cold this morning, north easterly wind.
Have to do big food shop today when I'm finished work and then 3 of the grandchildren to look after until 6pm.
Maddie, hope you make a rapid recovery and can enjoy your Christmas and hope everyone else is well and warm.
Take care,

Cath xx

Morning everyone, hope you all had a peaceful night.
Maddie and Rita, I do hope you are both feeling better today.
Marilyn, glad Pete is home with you for Christmas, make sure he takes things easy.
Mo, have you recovered from the trip yet? I didn't go back to sleep yesterday, might as well have got up early and got some housework done.
Only 2 days left now to do any last minute shopping, then anything I forgot we will have to do without.
Stephen did it get any colder last night where you are?

Breakfast is ready, on hotplate.
cereal or porridge.

bacon, sausage, eggs, mushrooms.

toast, marmalade or jam.

(_)?(_)?(_)?(_)?(_)?(_)?
tea or coffee.

If you are going out today
take care and stay safe.
Jean xx
~~~~~~~~~~~ to anyone I didn't mention xx

bleeding hell rita thats a bite of a rip off £18 and no arms or legs
should of only been a tenner with the missing bites

marilyn nice to here pete is home at last now go easy on the old boy lol

paulin hows the snow up your end my snow is all gone

mo what ever the weather im still here lol

iv been looking after the grand kids so there mums could go shoping
then cook a nice joint of beef for dinner so im very nackerd now
and got my food shoping to do tomorrow

My daughter just told me she went to buy her turkey this afternoon from her local supermarket she brought what they call a crown it cost her £18 it had no legs or wings. I said they must have got rid of the wings so it didnt fly off anf the legs so it didnt run away.?
joking aside she usually buys one bigger than the one she brought , she asked why they had no bigger ones ? the manager told her because people are on a low income with all the cuts they brought smaller turkeys and people were pleased so they were selling well.she said she brought Pork as well


Rita