General Chat

Tec .................


it's a bit hard to avoid your s-i-l though!!

Although daughter is trying to establish a pattern where she and grandson come over here for a week once a year, IF her husband can be left ......................

I doubt s-i-l will make the trip again, the excuse will be that a trip here for 2 weeks, with the 8 hour flight and 4 hour time change discombobulates him too much




My brother's widow is a bit weird, says and does strange things, but only things that make you shrug your shoulders and think "where on h*** did that come from?" ......................


like the time she announced that it would be much better if you did not wash your hair, "someone" had proved that after 6 months only rubbing your hair with silk would find it being silky soft and smooth, and beautifully clean


apparently some guy on TV


or the time she announced that one had no need to ever go to the dentist ............. in front of her then 10 year old granddaughter who was fighting with her mother about just that ..............


again, some one on TV



.................. but we really only have contact at birthdays and Christmas.

Persie .................


we had a bit of an eyeopener, both in OZ in 75/76 and in NZ in 92/93, after being used to places being open long hours here :-)


supermarkets and other stores closing on Saturday afternoon until Monday :-0

restaurants not serving meals after what seemed like a very early hour :-0

Now you are talking about my sister-in-law.. LOL even her children won't have anything to do with her. Now none of us even know where she lives. Her life does read a bit like a soap opera. Probably started way back when her parents were asked to remove her from a Private Girls' secondary school.. or could have been when she was little and she carved grooves in the kitchen bench and when her mother asked who had done it she said it was OH (nearly 4 years her junior) and he got smacked and sent to his room.

Apart from that it is a lovely sunny day here, despite the weather forecast and washing will get dry and we will go and do a grocery shop.. was too late by the time we got back here last night.. these country supermarkets close at 10pm.

Even some of Napier restaurants did not do meals after 9pm... hey we are from Auckland open all hours. The restaurant told us to go to Lone Star which might serve late but we saw an Irish Pub and it was Bangers and Mash on special night. Cheap as. Washed that down with a Tullamore Dew and he had a beer. Lubbly jubbly.

Enjoy your coffee Sylvia, hope you feel better today.

Hello Persie,

It is strange how we relate to other family members.
We get on with them, most of the time, as you would say :-D but there is always the odd one that no way could we even pretend to get on with.

I do have one or two like that in my family, or married into my family.

There has never been any real trouble in my family, or big dramas, as there can be in some families.
If I really don't like someone, I avoid them, and living out here on the fringe, that's not difficult :-D

off now for coffee ............... missed it this morning 'cos I wasn't feeling too good.


sleep well, if you have gone to bed when I return. xxx

I think OH made slightly more adaptations in our marriage ................


but of course, we did leave the UK less than a week after our marriage, for a place where we had no relations, so we had to set about developing our own traditions in everything

from what to eat on high days such as Easter and Christmas

how to decorate the Christmas tree, and the house

all paper vs painting walls

and accept and adapt to new traditions such as Thanksgiving!



One of the weirdest happenings with our s-i-l was the last time we were over there for Christmas ........ his job was (always is) to clear up after Christmas dinner.

He didn't ask for help, so OH, myself, and his sister and niece all just sat ......... you don't offer

He apparently went to say something to daughter about things taking him too long, so she told him to just ask. His sister an OH immediately jumped up when asked to help.

His sister was told to help with the washing up, and OH was asked to take the meat off the turkey and put it in a ......................


now, we don't usually do that until a couple of days after Christmas, but when we do OH slices off as much meat as he can, then might pull small amounts of meat off the bones.

So that is what he started to do ................. big to-do when s-i-l noticed ............. he quite literally pushed OH out of the way, said "we don't do it like that, it has to be pulled off by hand".


Daughter and I were talking the next day about all the trouble, and I mentioned that "dad" was very upset about it ............... her comment was "but that's how we do it in our house"

to which my response was that

"Dad has been doing it his way for about 60 years, and there is no excuse for pushing him out of the way and telling him he was wrong. You know that our way is if someone offers help, you accept the way they do it whether it is your way or not!"

Silence.

I am happy with both my SILs most of the time, just as I am happy with both my daughter's most of the time or even my OH most of the time. Father-in-law was a love and OH liked my father.. but the MIL and my mother left wanting an awful lot. My MIL was the eldest of five girls and a high school teacher and we all had to fall into line.
We used to spend four or five days with them every New Year when the children were young and I was well ready to go home after the fourth day.. as were my girls. OH was used to her and he would stick it out for Poppy (his father).. Poppy used to hate us returning home.. it must have got very bad for him because when he was in his seventies he was talking to OH about leaving her.



Nowt as queer as folk... both my SILs can do a bit of DIY and the eldest one now is an expert on building coffins..does all the lining too. In fact both of them can turn their hand to a bit of sewing, fix it jobs which is more than the girls can do. I gave the eldest one my sewing machine when I inherited my mother's.

The only thing with my youngest SIL is I am not to go near the kitchen to help when he is doing a meal. He cooked the dinners when we were at Ohakune.. and he looks after August so well. When they had a bit of a party for August's 1st birthday he saw to August all day and my daughter said to everyone whilst she was sipping her wine .. this parenting is so easy.

What you describe Sylvia does sound very like autistic people I have known. Usually very good in their own field of expertise.

It is interesting how our children adopt the attitudes and beliefs of their partners.

I often feel that some of my daughter's attitudes to certain things are just "not her", but very much the attitude of her husband.

I don't think I was influenced in that way, and the Duchess most certainly had a mind of her own, and wouldn't be influenced by anything I said.
Fortunately, we felt the same about most things - but not all :-D

Tec .................


I was really disappointed not to go, but it would not have been much fun, for any of us!



s-i-l is very complex, and he has to be in complete control of his environment or things spiral out of control for him, which makes it very difficult for him when we visit because he can't control us :-) .........

......... and I find that my daughter is the one who has made most adaptations to being married, to the extent that I find her rather changed from the child I raised.

some slightly different beliefs :-0



I know in most marriages, it is one partner that often makes the most changes

Sylvia, I'm sorry to see that you were unable to go out for dinner last night - that must have been a disappointment - hope that you feel better today.

Your SIL sounds like a very complex person - some people just speak their mind - regardless

Who said "Discretion is the better part of valour"? :-D

Hi everyone


another rainy day here ................. not all unusual for here. Last week was the "oddity" for our winter :-)

I didn't go to dinner last night after all ..................

I'd been feeling nauseous on and off all day, but thought I would be OK, until the feeling came back with a vengeance at around 5 pm

So I retreated to bed, and OH went for dinner alone, with another lady :-)

They had a great time .......... and she came up with some wonderful plans that she would organise for our 50th, if we are still here in 2½ years time :-0



Welcome to the club with in-laws!


My m-i-l wasn't bad until after her husband died, then she turned against me ............... told OH he should divorce me, I was no good, and only after her money :-S

She even threatened to re-write her will so that I wouldn't get even 1d if OH died before me ................... I don't know if she ever went ahead with that, 'cos I've never seen the will.


The ironic thing, is that we never needed her money anyway!


Then there is my s-i-l .............. who I think is at the top end of the autism scale, very brainy, but .................

However, the counselling this year has seen him diagnosed as very introverted and obsessive, with autism not mentioned.

Certainly, he has no social skills!

There's nothing like announcing that he would never touch appliances made by xxxxx, "they're junk", when you are standing in front of the just-bought fridge and stove made by that maker, in your m-i-l's kitchen :-)


Like your s-i-l, Tec ................. he's not good at doing things. Luckily, daughter is good at many "house repair" types. He is good at demolition, as they discovered when they reno'd the kitchen in their old house :-) He also has to be organised by others ........ although not at work, and he is thought to be a very good and well-liked teacher.



Only a few more days before we go away :-D

I drilled through a cable before we had the house re-wired and the circuit breaker/trip box went in.

The fence can wait Linda - there is so much else to do there more important by the sound of it.

Are you able to keep warm? - I hope so

No harm came to anyone because the circuit breaker cut in straight away.

The fence is on hold because the inside jobs take precedence

Oh what rotten luck to drill through a cable :-( but I've done it myself, got thrown across the kitchen and ruined the drill bit.

I suppose the fence has also been put on hold, but then the insulation takes priority over that really.

Sounds like it's all happening down there.

She is too old to have time to change her mind

OH and son were supposed to finish the kitchen today, but progress has been slow. Then they drilled through a live wire, so until the electrician can cone back, work has been halted.

Tomorrow and Monday is pencilled in for putting insulation boards up on the inside of the external house walls, so they have plenty to be going on with

Maybe, in time, things will change - you never know.

strangely, I've known several couples who've had a dog first, then later a baby

Curious.

Children? She only wants a dog, which is a great shame because my son would be a wonderful partner :-(

We cannot choose who our children choose as partners, anymore than our parents had any say in who we chose.
All we can do is accept them, hoping that they treat our children well, and in spite of any reservations we may have, that the partnership/marriage prospers.

I was lucky, I had a very good relationship with my MIL. She was a lovely lady. Whereas my own mother took a dislike to the Duchess from the start. They were very different people.
On my wedding day my mother told me I had made a serious mistake, and she gave the marriage twelve months. Well, here we are 52 years down the line.

With regard to my SIL, I have had to bite my tongue, and think my own thoughts very often.
However, he is good to my daughter, and grand daughter, works long hours, and obviously loves his family - that is all that matters in the end.

His ways are not my ways - he is extremely "careful" (tight) with money.
Doesn't know one end of a screwdriver from another, and doesn't want to know.
It is easier to "get a man in" for the simplest task. Change a light bulb? I joke.
There is an arrogance there that I find hard to cope with, but put up with silently, for my daughter's sake.

So long as they get on with each other, treat each other with respect, and love, raise their children well, then that is all we as parents can hope for, and all that really matters in the end.

I wouldn't dare touch the kitchen Tec, my sons partner is most odd, personally I think she is on the autistic spectrum. She Keeps telling us , it is "her house" etc

She was on the other hand perfectly happy to Let me drive the car loaded with rubbish to the tip because she doesn't like the thought of going there

I just try to bite my tongue, but it s very difficult