General Chat

We can't possibly give to all the charities that pull on our heartstrings.I have a few I prefer to give to (money wise) ,and others I give clothes ,books,etc.
There are so many these days,pleading for donations.I know they are all deserving and `i would love to give to all,but there is a limit.I don't feel guilty.

So pleased to see what other people do when asked to donate. I donate regularly to three different charities and will give occasional lump sums as I did to Cats protection when they helped me, but on a pension yo do have to be a bit sensible. We have both named charities in our wills to the extent of sums i never thought i would ever have spare when I was young on £3.00 a week!

Thanks Ann and Daff and Marion:-))

Himself is running the Snowdonia again this year, we didn't ask for sponsorship last year as it seemed cheeky after 2008 and before. People are finding giving money more difficult.

I bet people don't realise just how much it costs competitors to enter races for charity either! OH is running as an afiliated member this year cos it saved a whole £2.00...lol add on the cheapest accomodation he could find £30.00 his running gear which is soooooo expensive when you include his running shoes (which only last 8-9 weeks with all the training he does), special meals for 2 months beforehand, energy gels etc., etc., Melissa bought him 2 pair as part of his 60th present...lmao

So we give in that way too. Not that I begrudge him a penny cos he doesn't drink, smoke or womanise (well only with Daff if he's wearing green).

That's why he has always refused to run the London marathon because Joe Bloggs pays entrance fees and the professional athletes get paid to turn up!

Anyway, I will write, I promise.

Sue xx

Hi Sue.

The way I look at is,we cant give to all. Just post back the envelope provided and say you will no longer want to donate to the said charity.

I sold raffle books for PDSA. Which was fine if it was once a year. They now send them about 4 times a year. I just ignore them now.

Also the cancer research I sent a couple of hundred to, collection at my Dads funeral. They thanked me for my support then a year later asked if I would leave them money in my will....I just ignored that to.

Cards you get sent at xmas too. I used to feel guilty if I didnt buy them. Then I decided to h**l with that, I never asked for them so I just post them back.

You shouldnt have to feel bad about not giving.

Marion

Don't you dare feel guilty... they are relying on that!! That is why they have knocked on your door (so to speak)

Giving to charity is just that.... charity... you give what you can, when you can. I have just stopped the direct debits to a couple we have been supporting... and have told them why in a telephone call to their fundraising departments. If I get anything else from them, I shall be furious.

I will sponsor people running marathons, leaping out of airoplanes etc, for charities I support, I will pop small change into a tin at the supermarket or wherever, I shall fill my Christian Aid envelope, but I will not respond to anyone who *rattles the tin* either literally, or by knocking my door, phoning my home or sending me begging pamphlets. (Excepting the Christian Aid one)

We can only do so much.

Mwah.... go on then....... go and do it! ;¬)) Write the letters....... or make the phonecall.... xxxxx

Love

Daff xxxx

Sue, don't feel guilty, you have certainly done your share with charities as has your other half with his marathon mountain climbs etc. Just tell them no, they will be used to it and he is not letting her down at all and neither are you.

Thanks for the new replies.

I will have to write to them not just because we cannot afford it but OH really doesn't need to remember what she was like in the hospice but as she was prior.

I'll probably still feel guilty when I post the letter though!

Sue

We have had ourselves removed from a number of charity lists.


You do NOT need to tell them anything about your circumstances.

Just say that you do not wish to receive any further request letters or contact. Then add that if you do receive any more contact from them, by letter, phone or any other means, after this date, you most certainly will not donate any more to this cause.

This last statement implies that you are considering donating later ............ they will see "estate planning". Big £££ signs flash in front of their eyes!


If they phone you at any time in the future, just interrupt their spiel and say firmly that you had sent a letter "some months/years ago" asking for no contact, and that this phone call could lead to you definitely not making a donation to them


This ploy has worked wonders for us with a Cancer Society that used to send us 2 or 3 letters every month; with two universities that got our names on to their lists after we had made small donations to honor friends on their retirements; and with the local opera company etc.

We have donated rather a lot of money (in cash and in kind) over the years to the university where we both worked ................. but the development officers now fall all over themselves trying to make sure that they don't contact us.

I think every one of them now knows that any contact from them means that nothing else will be given to the department or section.

This ensures that we are left in peace, and can make up our minds about what we give and when we give it .......... and are not continually being phoned or receiving letters.



The fund raisers get absolutely panicked at the thought that their activities might lead to you not donating to them!



One thing to remember is that many of these places set up lists of donors, and jsut pass that list on for years within the organizaton, but the list can also get out to other organizations.


Good luck



sylvia

HI
AS YOU KNOW I HAVVE PD BUT OUT OF ALL THE CHARITIES
I HAVE RAISED MONEY FOR ,IT HASNT BEEN PARKINSONS
I JUST CANT ASK FRIENDS TO SUPPORT THE ONE I NEED
MY OH PAYS £10 A MONTH TO CANCER RESEARCH,
I RAISED MONEY FOR SO MANY IN THE PAST AS YOU HAVE
WITH FAMILY REQUESTS ,SO DONT FEEL GUILTY JUST ASK TO BE REMOVED FROM THE MAILING LIST,
DIZZ

I've done it -- my political party, for which I was on monthly membership deduction. When my credit card expired and they needed the new info to renew, I didn't renew the monthly deduction. I continued to get letters -- and worse, phone calls, constant phone calls. I screen calls with my answering machine, and they weren't leaving messages, just calling and calling. I sent email after email saying to take me off fundraising lists, and the calls kept coming ...

Anyhow, just wanted to say: you don't have to give a reason if you don't want to -- you might want to explain that it's from necessity, not desire, but you might not want to go into your personal situation. Just ask them (instruct them) to remove your names from their mailing lists. I would imagine you won't be the first to ask, these days.

It's an unfortunate fact of fundraising life that once you have donated, you are the best target for more and bigger donations. But it's a drag to keep feeling guilty about not doing someone one just can't do.

I keep meaning to ask if our children and my aged BIL who also donated (not OH's sister's hubby) get these requests too?

I guess I'll have to do that and put OH's electronic signature on the letter and tell him what I've done so he doesn't feel that HE is letting her down, if that makes sense.

Thanks for the replies :-))

Sue x

Hi Sue,
I would write to the charity explaining the situation - hopefully they're human at the other end!!!

maggie xx

We have made a number of donations to various charities/hospices complying with the wishes of deceased family members and also friends' families.

One of these donations was to a hospice following OH's sister's death. This was when I was working and we made quite a large donation.

We regularly get letters from this hospice asking for more support. Since not working we just don't have that sort of money any more also each time we get one of these letters it brings back not very nice memories for OH.

Just don't know what to do. We feel guilty we can't send more money as we support MS.

Any suggestions as to how to resolve this please, it's been going on for a few years now.

Thanks

Sue