General Chat

After an afternoon of phoning the doctor and care team and no-one being able to help till tomorrow, OH got his jimjams on to relax a bit. Not for long though as MIL's neighbour rang as she'd got muddled just trying to ring us, so OH has dressed and gone over there now. He said she's having all sorts of problems. He waited for the carer who was shortly due, who settled her down for the night and suggested waiting till the morning carer came who should phone for a doctor then if she's no better. OH has decided he will ring himself anyway.

I think that is what we will do when the time comes Gill. It seems awful to be thinking of these things now, but better to turn your mind to these things and have some idea what to do than be overwhelmed by everything at the time. The chaps who took some of the furniture to make room for the bed would do it and there is very little we would want, just things like photos. It's the going through everything that will take some time.

That's good you have some black pants for the funeral now without having to go and get some. I meant to ask what kind of cakes do you bake?

Jane, I think come rain or shine, OH would insist I come on Wednesday! He knows it will do me good! I see the August menu is on the website now and with more new words I need to look up!! lol. I think young Thomas is addicted to mice!! I'm surprised he is still finding any the rate at which he catches them, but your garage should be clear of them this winter. :-) He'll be miffed at not getting any at the cattery. :-|

Mel, I have sorted and cleaned one kitchen wall cupboard today. :-) More way out of date things have been chucked out. I get on much better with these things when OH isn't around chatting every time he walks by! (sorry Frank, you know we love you all really! :-D) I do think Ros is brave tackling a posh frock for a wedding. I would be worried sick I'd spoil it! I'm nervous shortening curtains let alone a dress for someone else. :-S

Evening all

Just an update on the house. Been raining down there guess what was unable to do it. I knew rain was due there. Had a nice surprise lunch time my daughter called in with her partner. He was bringing his 2 boys back to Luton after a few days with them. My daughters. 3 children were with their step dad her second husband. Who she has been apart for a about 18 months. Her first husband died So there was room in the car. They have taken some things back from our shed while they had room in the car.

Alan was still with mocha so missed them. If we had thought we could have sorted some more things for them to take back. Next time we go down there we can take some smaller bits. With the dogs in the car we can't have the back seat down making more room.
My daughter said the builder was waiting to see if some more materials had been delivered for the floor. So hopefully they will have a good day tomorrow.

Ann. Sorry to hear m in law is getting worse now. What a worry with all the carers and House now

Frank. You like my Millie then lol

Hope Ross,s heal feels better soon. Have to post this now or can't go back a page lol

Gill where abouts do you live. I know the counties the others are from apart from magpie. First name .? I must have missed it sorry. It has been raining here too as the dogs had.their trims and baths today I washed their bedding. I have just managed to get it dry lol

I realise now. I think

Jane. Your Thomas is still busy. Hunting lol

Good news on your car passing its mot. Hope Carmel gets on ok tomorrow

Fingers crossed they can get on tomorrow Pat. We were promised rain but never saw a drop today. It must have been a difficult time for your daughter when her husband died, but good that she found happiness again. It's a good idea to crack on and move some things when you get an opportunity so there's less left to deal with later on. When do they think they will get your new place done?

OH wears socks with his trainers but tucks them down so they aren't seen. :-) I hate to see them worn with sandals.

Pat thats good somet hings have been taken to your new place so you won't have too much to go when you do actually move in. Little and often can be good.

Done my corner of the kitchen, washed all the tiles and scrubbed the grouting as it is a dead corner and tends to get a little mouldy. Put lots sof things that were on the work surface in the corner cupboard I cleared the other week so it is easier to wipe down each day now. It took me so long because oh wanted coffee and then started talking about when he was in the brigade so I had to stay and listen to some funny stories. He dos'nt talk about it much but when he does I like to listen. If I asked he would'nt tell me anything. I just let him talk as I think it is good for him.

Gill dear .ittle Rosie sitting on the mat out of the rain........ahhhhh.

Good the car passed it's MOT with flying colours William. LESS EXPENSE.

I am now going to catch up in Life in Squares.

So see you all tomorrow night night.

Morning my lovelies, evening Kim,

Jane they are not ankle socks. They are the ones that just cover your feet, not sure what they are called. I cringe when I see "OLD MEN" in sandals and socks up their legs. in shorts, with long sleeve shirts. My wife would go Banana's if I did that.

Tony next door is a good example for that !!!!

Pat I think both your dogs are lovely, If you remember, I offered to have her a couple of years ago while you went away. I would have had Thomas, but I know he would have been "TROUBLE" from day one :-D :-D :-D :-D

Ann, I hope things go along alright for you today. You are on my mind such a lot lately. <3 <3 <3

Ros and Carolyn are out at 10.00 ish this morning as she has someone calling at 3.00 pm so will need to get home.

I am going to get myself some breakfast. A nice sausage sandwich comes to mind with Brown Sauce.

Be good, and I will see you later.

Morning Frank and all and Evening Kim,

It's dry but there are some light grey clouds in the sky but underneath that there is clear blue sky. Hard to explain really but very strange.

Frank those pics you sent were beautiful that Ros took. I loved the one with the bees on the leaves, great.

Shopping day today and I want to go up the high street to get another pack of those boxes I bought to go in the cupboards so I must take 90p parking money with me and hope I can get parked on the front of the shops at the bottom of the high street and not have to go over the road on the quay.

Well I am back. Stuffed to the gills. I got the sausages out of the freezer last night. When I went to the fridge to get them out. There beckoning to me were a plate of cold potato's, a tray of mushrooms and our tomato's. The eggs were in the rack on the side, so I thought WHY NOT. So I ended up with the "FULL MONTY" with two slices of B & B and another COT. (LIZ)

I will let this lot go down, then mow the back lawn.

Have sent a photo of the "SOCKS" so you can see I an not a PLEB. :-D :-D :-D :-D

No sun here yet !!! Enjoy your shopping day Mel.

Morning/Evening All

Glad to hear that Frank :-D..I think the socks are Trainer socks(well that is what they used to be called).I don't get on very well with them as I find they slip off the backs of my heels.

Rain or shine it is then Ann or come hell and high water :-D :-D I'll see you tomorrow.

I do hope that today something can be done for MIL either back to hospital is she really isn't good or a good Nursing home.I think she could be classed as an urgent case.I expect we will hear from you later.

I am popping out to get some cash ,bird food and a few bits and bobs.
BBL.......No sun at the moment but muggy and not a breath of air.

Morning All,

OH is back at his mum's. She couldn't get back in bed in the night and hadn't kept her alarm button with her either. OH has rung and is waiting the doctor as some medications aren't so good now. We've realised the care team managers using the carers' notes won't be much good as the carers don't record the help they give that they are not supposed to!! They won't get the true picture!! What a state of affairs!! The Macmillan nurse just seems to be advisory and not quite what we had imagined.

Hubby doesn't know whether he's coming or going or what he'll find now. Despite everything she's still piling tasks on him that don't matter. He told me that when the carer was cleaning her up etc yesterday, she said to him 'I hope you are looking.' (so you know what to do I presume). Yet, before she became ill and FIL once had a slight toilet accident she rang a neighbour to come and deal with it!!!

Frank I don't know how you did what you did looking after your dad and at such a young age. You would have thought the others would have helped you. I know not everyone can cope with some aspects of these things, but there's usually something that can be done to help.

It's good your car passed the MOT William. You have reminded me mine is due next month! I haven't had a tax disc for almost a year now and I just hope I get a reminder for the renewal. Did you see that young boy who is making a fortune selling reminder discs to put in place of the tax disc? A brilliant idea.

On the subject of cars I have been pumping my car tyres up this morning before going to see Jane and Fitz tomorrow and was surprised how much air they'd lost. I have the same trouble Frank had with them not sealing properly on the rims, so ought to get them done. It's tricky to know what to do as the car is getting quite old now and I ought to swap it, but I like it and nothing else really takes my fancy at the moment.

The sun is shining again so I'll get the washer on, then nip to the garage and fill the car up and do some errands next. I don't seem to do much of interest lately. :-S

Ann, it was looking after my terminally ill S.father that led me to getting into social care. The eight months after my mother died were just awful, as like your in laws he was alone in their rather unsuitable 17th cent cottage, with stairs that were dangerous on a good day, but for a terminally ill old chap (actually he was only 67, but seemed physically years older) they were lethal. I remember being desperate for some help, but in those days it wasn't easy to come by so we had a private nurse to help us on the days I was at work particularly as he got almost completely bedridden. Luckily OH, and our two children, like you, were very supportive as in the last few weeks one or other of us had to stay overnight, in fact he couldn't really be left at all. (Luckily he was much loved by all of us)After he died, I joined social services as I felt very strongly that if I'd needed help, almost certainly other people did to and I felt experienced enough to do it!!!!!. That led to community care, and the rest is history, as they say!! It is so difficult, and watching someone you love disintegrating before your eyes and feeling so helpless is unbelievably distressing. I do feel for you both, and I do think if community care is being so complicated your MIL would be better in full time residential, as it sounds as if the situation is getting beyond home care. I know, easier said than done, but I think I'd be pushing for that even to the extent of your OH saying he can't cope anymore, then something would have to be done. I do hope you manage to get things more on an even keel, for all your sakes.

I like the new picture Ann but I mis the bluebells.

This just is'nt on for MIL to be left out of bed in the night with the nights getting colder now and it is not at all fair on your oh either when he has to deal with both parents. What exactly do they mean when they say the macmilan nurses are only advisary?? The ones round here are really good. They go to a friend of ours whose wife has very bad MS and they're lovely. I used to knwo a lot of them when we went ringing and all were very dedicated to their job.

I hope G can get something done with the doctor calling today and perhaps get her back in hospital and then into a nursing home where she should have gone in the first place. It must be so upsetting for all of you including MIL. Am thinking of you all the time. Have a nice day with Jane and Fitz tomorrow and relax and have a rest with good company. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Liz, I was looking at WW 2 memorabilia on EBAY yesterday and came across a MUG of war planes it showed the Lancaster, Beaufort, Spitfire, Hurricane, etc. I thought of you, and wondered if it would be something you would like ???

I bought myself a mug to celebrate VJ day. I am still looking for the plastic mug that we were all given for VE DAY it had the cross flags of the commonwealth on one side and your name on the other. Mine disappeared when my Mother died in 1980. Not speaking or knowing where my children are, I don't know if they have got it. I would like to get my hands on one, even thought it won't be mine.

After Nursing my Father for all that time, I thought about going into nursing, but being called up within six weeks of his death didn't give me time to do anything about it. I then become a carer when Ros's Mum was terminally ill with Cancer. I had resigned from my JOB to be her carer. I slept in the armchair each night, looking after her needs, which gave Ros and her dad a chance to sleep, ready for the day shift. But even then she wanted me around her, and if I had gone home to sleep. I would get a call to say MUM wants you. I then had the unthankful task of nursing Ros's father through Cancer. Both her Mum and Dad died in my arms. So I class myself as a very caring person, I just hope I don't have to go through it again. :-( :-( :-( The nurses that Ros had after her car accident, praised me for all the caring I did for her. I SAID, Well it is my wife !!!

I am being lazy, sitting reading, when I should be out doing the lawn, I might get round to it later.

Sorry about all my memories, but it's getting close to my dads birthday, and I always get morbid at this time of the year. He would be 129 years old, and I astill miss him terrible. :-( :-( :-(

Frank, I really admire the way you've clearly looked after your family over the years. I think caring is something that you can feel drawn to, a bit like getting the call !!!!! It's a pity you couldn't pursue it from.what you say you would have made an excellent Nurse. I loved my years working in care, I found it so rewarding and so worthwhile. Its strange how incidences in your life can lead you to something that you probably would never have thought of.
I shall have a look on EBay for the mug, I would love one, and hopefully they'll be one left. I didn't get a VE mug, Perhaps my mother thought I was too young!!!!!! I did get a silver 5/- coin at the coronation though. My step.grandfather gave it to me. I had it for years, and it finally went missing during a house move!! Well, my own fault, I should have been more careful!!
They've started ploughing the field opposite, so our doggie running area will be greatly reduced. We still have our field, but nothing like the area!!

It was us that thought the Macmillan nurse was mostly advisory Mel as that is all she's done in her 2 brief visits, pounding away doing notes on her laptop. MIL's doctor rang OH as arranged but didn't seem too interested and kept saying being at home was what she wanted and she'd only been home just a few days.'' He was offhand and said he'd call in later but didn't know when. HOWEVER, he's just been and was shocked by her rapid deterioration and has been really good. He examined her and says it won't be long now and is getting her in a hospice within the next couple of days. Thank goodness, at least she'll get proper expert care there and be kept comfortable. OH spoke to the care team then and they will keep her in bed for now and have told her to use the alarm if she has any problem. They have told OH he must not try to help her to the commode, whatever she says, as it is too risky and he is not a trained carer. No wonder some of her medications weren't working.......she'd stopped taking her anti sickness tablets so no wonder she's been in a state. She had tricked the carer by saying she'd have them after she'd left. I am so relieved for my OH. Popping to see her at the hospice which is much nearer anyway will be a doddle after all the tearing about he is doing now.

Liz that sounds a good arrangement you worked out for your dad. I can't say that our experience with today's system has been very good. Despite our chasing it, they still haven't appointed a new social worker for FIL that we need for them to reassess him and advise us about his funding. They reduced his funding shortly after he moved into the home. Of course now he has had more falls and is even less mobile. I assume they can only reduce the rates that are paid from the date they see and assess him, which means the longer they wait to do that, the longer they get the extra money. That is disgraceful when their delays are affecting the finances of people in such a vulnerable position.

OH will be back soon so we'll go and eat somewhere as he's had nothing yet today.

I still have my coronation crown Liz! I also have a silver jubilee one that a chap at work got for me. I came across them when I was clearing out the bedroom. I know I have a few farthings and silver thruppeny bits as well but they are old and worn.

I liked the bluebells too Mel, but they've gone over now! lol.

Thank goodness for that Ann! From what you were saying it was clearly getting totally impossible to go on with care at home. But still the worry with your FIL!! All you can do is just keep on and on pestering until you get satisfactory answers. Trouble is everything is such a battle and SO wearing, that in the end you feel like giving up, but you musn't think for a moment that somehow you're being a nuisance or pushy; You have to be, to get into a satisfactory position else you risk getting pushed about- I'm sure you won't!!! but it's not easy.
Yes, our care worked well, but my S.father was easy to look after and so grateful for everything we did for him, and as I've said we all did a double think about his recovery, telling him he looked better and so on. At the end he must have known, but we kept up the pretence, even planning a holiday when he was better!
Quite a bit warmer here so we are sitting out with our cuppa!!