General Chat

where do i begin,this last year has been hard to say the least.my lovely mum who is now in the throws of dementia,has also been told she has stomach cancer.no this is not a sympathy thread but a thread hoping others may have the same problem .[saves me being on my own in all this]
shes now in a nursing home,and as safe as she can be .well looked after,and oddly enough quite amusing at times.
i walk in and she says with a huge smile ......ooooooooh our joy,tis lovely to see you ,i have missed you so much.[really i came yesterday]
mom says hows your mom and dad....um you are my mom.who am i....ahhhhhhhhhh your my joy.yes mom i am.
ive realised shes no memory span now .and also has reverted back to a child in a way.
one of the ladies opposite her was talking when mom piped up......you,d think they,d remove that thing on her neck.[JOY FAINTS]
mom you must,nt say things like that.
says mum ...why not.
as a child i,d have got a clip round the ear for being rude.
i gets a phonecall from the care home .
sorry to bother you joy,...but your mom tried to escape this morning.we caught her trying to climb the fence to go see her mom and dad.[they passed away years ago]
i gave my appologies and said is she ok .oh yes.shes eating her breakie at the moment.
today has been a good day.no calls from nursing home ...YET.
im sure shes getting me back for being a PITA teenager.

(((hugs)))

must be hard hun but keep up the humour as you always do hunnie xxx

As long as your mum is happy, that is all that matters at this stage.
The palliative cancer care is so good these days,so she will be well cared for. I finally lost my mum last September, so I have some sort of understanding of how you are feeling.

Linda
xx

Joy, it must be hard but it is good to see you retain a sense of humour over it all. Good that she is well looked after as well.

thanks girls.
she has stomach cancer and they cant opperate as shes so frail.ive not told her as i dont see the point.why upset her.
i think i got my sense of humour off my dad.i need it now .so bless him he left me a legacy.
she does like her choc tho.so i take her 3 boxes in and 4 bars .so she has something to eat that she likes.the fact she forgets means that i can say .hey mom.......you gonna have a choc.like several times lol.bless her.

Cant be easy to watch,but she is in the best place and long as she is happy and well looked after which, by the sounds, of it she is.

I didnt have that with my parents Mum died suddenly age 56 and my Dad went the same way age 82, 20 yrs later.

I have a friend whos father is 96 and also in a care home. He has dementia and a cancer of some kind. My friend as asked for no tests or treatement just keep him comfy. The tests and moving him would be hard on him he could not cope with it all.
Hard as it is she does get a laugh at some of the things he says though.

sending you and ya mam big huggs hun . You have my number if you want to chat xxx

Joy you have my sympathy, I know it can't be easy but the way you told it did make me smile.

I think that your humour will get you through just take it 1 day at a time.
My gran went do-lally (as me dad called it) and I know at time he hurt when she didn't remember him or lived in the past. His one consolation was she seemed to live in the happy days of her past and did say why should he complain about that.
I chickened out big time and couldn't keep doing the journey (London to Sheffield) to keep being heartbroken.

Joy sending you and your Mum (((hugs)))) and tell the home to put a stile in the fence :-)

edit to change style to stile and neither look right now.....

Sadly Joy my Mum is no longer here ,but she had dementia and was in a home.She was cared for so well even though she was a trial to the girls.She was always escaping ,and would get into any mans car to get away lol.She would pinch food and put it her pockets for emergency rations!
I visited her one day with my sister,and we had planned to take her out.She was in bed and she peeped out from under the sheet and said "Do I have to go out " ? we asked if she wasn't feeling well and her answer was "No, I've got my period " lol.Although it was sad to see Mum like that ,I have to say we all did have some laughs.Even mum would crack up and then say "what are we laughing at"!!!!!!!
So I know what it is like for you Joy.It is hard ,but the main thing is that she is looked after well,and that will make it easier for you.
Jane xx

Bless her.((((((((

shes in good hands.
xxx

marion thats the same here ,shes too weak to have anything done.xx
stinky ,i know hun .big hugs.xxx
uzzi.i have to laugh at some things .shes so commical .and its no good me getting upset that she cant always remember me .its not her fault.but she does have me in stitches.she talks very loudly now .when she was a quiet gentle person.and she never has swore or smoked or drank .[so not like me ,lol]shes was a proper lady.and never spoke a bad word of anyone.she would say....JOY ...HAVE A LITTLE DECORUM .[whatever that ment lol]
jane ,yep thats just like mom.she thinks shes in her early teens ,which is nice for me cos that makes me just a twinkle in me dads eye,or and egg .lol.
my dad would always sing .....always look on the bright side of life .and i hear his voice often in my mind saying....nah matter tids ,it,ll be ok.
thanks for your input .its nice to sound off .xxxx

thinking of you hun ((hug))
may things get better for your mum soon xxx

hi girlies,reggie .xxxxxxmwah.xxx

brummie,mom still talks about her earlier years quite well ,but she forgets the present.
she keeps saying when am i going home ,i cant say the flats gone as it will upset her so i say ,,when you,ve put some weight on.the doc says you can go home.i just cant upset her.xxxx