General Chat

Worth a look even if you've seen it before!!! if anyone wants me to email it complete with accompanying pictures let me know!!! can't stop laughing




1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.



2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.



3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.


4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.



5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden.





6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.



7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.


8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.



9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.


10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.



11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.



12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.



13. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&#%^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.



14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.



15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.




How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.



GOOD DOG!

:-D Thanks Ann. It doesn't matter how many times I read that one it still always makes me laugh........especially as I've been there done that! LOL

Mary

always sends me off in fits - I have a cat too!!!!

Nudging this for Carolb lol

I always give my cat his pill by sitting him on my left and going through the procedure. By the end of a course of treatment I look like one of those cheerleaders who carry pom-poms except the pom-poms are made up of shreds of skin.

Brilliant:o))
Yep done all that too:o)) lol lol

jude xx

i crush it n mix it wiht her food :-D

Try giving the pill wrapped in cheese or butter, works ok.**M**

My last two lovlies were so easy to give tablets to - they both loved prawns and would be climbing up my legs to get to the prawns LOL

Crush tablet between 2 spoons, dip a prawn into the powdered tablet, feed to cat, no problem!

Except for one occasion when my most laid back cat that ever lived decided that she wasn't going to take them, prawns or no prawns! After oh and I were both left dripping with blood I rang the vet and said, "you're going to have to give her some other tablets, she won't take these at all".

"Of course she will" comes his reply. So I take her down to the surgery and said, "okay, you give it to her". One badly bitten finger later, he agreed to change her tablets! LOL

Mary

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

My big boy, a fluffy persian took his tablets like a gud un. The female, though so lovable in every other way turned into the cat from hell, I have seen the above before and it is her all over. We have a bird now. Still wish we could have another cat though.

Caz

My OH is watching the Laydeeez Football while I am sitting here on the lappy, laughing like a drain.

Give our dog a pill?

Push it into a small chunk of cheese. The dozy bitch thinks she is a mouse. Lol.

;-)

Easiest way of all.
Leave the pill somewhere the cat´s not supposed to go,leave the house & when you come back, a pound to a penny the pill will be gone & you have a cat looking smug because he´s got away with pinching something.
Psychology!!!! :-D :-D :-D :-D