General Chat

this has made me crack up..... so right.... the proper explaination of a BBQ is to get a perfectly good piece of meat chuck it on the bbq cook the cr*p out of it and then serve with a bit of salad....

thats it I need to go home to sydney and have a proper BBQ....

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Well, nearly right, but in this house the woman does the preparations, then sits with a glass (or 3) of wine while man cooks food, quite well I have to say, while I get quite mellow! He even does most of the washing up! :-D

BBQs are for Aussie beaches or American woods, a big, proper charcoal grill with hickory chips, and succulent steaks or huge prawns. Not in tiny back gardens with the grill lit 5 mins before and stinking of lighter fuel, and nasty burgers and burnt sausages :-D

I can honestly say I have never in all my years had anyone say or imply they have or think they have had an upset tummy or food poisoning after one of my BBQ's

but i have noticed i seem to be going to more funerals this time of year :-0

Roy

A&E Department notified of Imminent overstretching of services due to extraordinary amount of people suffering from Food Poisoning. :-D :-D :-D

Errol, you refer to the unwritten rule under part (8)

Its unwritten in order to hide the truth from some men who THINK they can cook but cannot :-0

Roy

The woman directs any teenagers to clear the plates etc with the promise of two helpings of desert. The teenager mutters and mumbles but knows that the woman always keeps her promises.

An urgent phone call becons the woman inside at the precise moment the BBQ needs washing ;-)

Didn't you forget the bit where the woman takes the meat inside to cook it properly so that they don't all contract food poisoning?

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D ;-)

Det, Only the best for my OH, I got her a new Karcher Pressure Wash with all the attachments for her birthday :-D

Merlin, That would never happen, My neighbour are usualy in attendance at my BBQ's, It would be rude not to invite them ;-)

Roy :-D

Another one you missed,Next door gets fed up of the stink of burnt food Etc,get Garden Sprinkler out ,turns it on full pressure directs it over fence thus soaking the idiots who are spoiling their relaxation in their garden. :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

So true! :-D

You missed a couple -

The woman washes up by hand all the yucky cooking implements and the grill/rack

The woman disposes of the embers the next day.

Just a reminder of the BBQ rules

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

This is a Very Important Part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Another Important Part:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And THE Most Important Part of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night OFF ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Roy :-D