General Chat

Top tip - using the Genes Reunited community

Welcome to the Genes Reunited community boards!

  • The Genes Reunited community is made up of millions of people with similar interests. Discover your family history and make life long friends along the way.
  • You will find a close knit but welcoming group of keen genealogists all prepared to offer advice and help to new members.
  • And it's not all serious business. The boards are often a place to relax and be entertained by all kinds of subjects.
  • The Genes community will go out of their way to help you, so don’t be shy about asking for help.

Quick Search

Single word search

Icons

  • New posts
  • No new posts
  • Thread closed
  • Stickied, new posts
  • Stickied, no new posts

Beijing hotel infomation brochure....very funny.

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 8 Nov 2013 19:17

Translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English

Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel
runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water.
You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go
round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always
tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are
always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in
the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in
the bar and expose themselves to others But please note that ladies are
not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organise social games, so no
guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At
dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with
you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter,
every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of
outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since
the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any
other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her.
She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If
asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above all:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You
will struggle to forget it."

Island

Island Report 8 Nov 2013 19:21

:-D :-D :-D LOL

I'm opening a book, as it's friday ;-)

Mersey

Mersey Report 8 Nov 2013 19:23

:-D :-D :-D :-D he he he

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 8 Nov 2013 20:12

Fink I'll report it




too many innuendos......

innuendoes??

dratt where's me spell checker

MarilynB

MarilynB Report 8 Nov 2013 20:13

So funny lol :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 8 Nov 2013 20:14

Should I change it back to Mandarin Bob ?

:-D :-D ;-)

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 8 Nov 2013 20:15

if you dare!!!

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 8 Nov 2013 20:21

This is Simplified Chinese.......... :-D :-D

Chéng che lùxiàn:
Women de dàibiao jiang ràng ni zài jichang denghòu. Bashì dào jiudiàn
Yánzhe hú bian. Bùjiu, ni huì gandào gaoxìng zài tong shui.
Ni huì zhidào ni yuè lái yuè jìn de jiudiàn, yinwèi ni huì qù
Guaiwan. Jijin jingli jiang dengdàizhuó ni zài rùkou dàting. Ta zong shì
Chángshì suoyou xin kèrén xìngjiao.

Jiudiàn:
Zhè shì yigè jiatíng luguan, suoyi háizimen dou feicháng huanyíng. Dangrán, women shì
Zong shì xinrán jieshòu tongjian. Gaodù shúliàn de hùshì ke zài
Wanshàng fàngxià ni de háizi. Kèrén bèi yaoqing dào línghuó yùnyòng
Jiuba hé zìji bàolù gei biérén, dànshì, qing zhùyì, nushìmen
Bù yunxu you ying'ér zài jiuba. Women zuzhi shèjiao yóuxì, suoyi méiyou
Kèrén céngjing dandú liú zài jiazhong zìwo hé tamen yiqi wán.

Canting:
Women de càidan dou jingguòle jing tiao xì xuan, putong píngpíng wú qí. Zài
Wancan, women de sìchóngzòu zhuo dào zhuo fenfa, bonòng
Ni.

Ni de fángjian:
Mei jian kèfáng jun yongyou yiliú de shèshi, wèi ni de sichù. Zài dongjì,
Mei jian kèfáng jun shì rè. Mei gè fángjian dou you yigè yángtái, ke xinshang
Youxiù de yì yín! . Ni bù huì bèi jiaotong zàoyin de ganrao, yinwèi
Jiudiàn hé hú zhi jian de dàolù jin yòng yú pederasts de.

Chuáng
Ànzhào dangdì chuántong, yijing qudéle ni de chuáng. Rúguo nín you rènhé
Qíta xiangfa, qing huán nupú. Qing chèn ta.
Ta huì hen gaoxìng bìqiú xù, chènshan hé nèiyi. Rúguo
Wèn, ta ye jiang ji ya ni de kùzi.

Zongzhi:
Dang ni líkai women ni de jià qí jiéshù shí, nín jiang méiyou xiwàng. Ni
Jiang hen nánwàng jì ta. “

PollyinBrum

PollyinBrum Report 8 Nov 2013 20:34

Lol I am sure we stayed there a few years ago

Staffs Col

Staffs Col Report 8 Nov 2013 22:12

I stayed in one that said ' Danger Deep Water - Please Fall Into Water Carefully'

Island

Island Report 8 Nov 2013 22:56

LOL love it Col :-D

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 9 Nov 2013 00:41

Well dome M M........

OneFootInTheGrave

OneFootInTheGrave Report 9 Nov 2013 08:14

Hilarious :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 9 Nov 2013 11:05

You got a Mandarin spellchecker Bob ?............. :-D