General Chat

The vicar then in charge of the local Anglican church did not ask to meet the godparents when our daughter was baptised at the age of 4 years back in the late 1970s, but he did ask to meet with OH.
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I did not, and still do not, attend church, which is why I was not involved in meeting the vicar .......... probably a VERY good job as it turned out!! :-D

That meeting took place on the Thursday evening before the baptism on the Sunday morning. The vicar asked for the names of the chosen godparents.

One was a non-practising Jew, but we felt very comfortable asking her and had not even thought there would be any problem ................ but he noticed the surname and asked "Is she Jewish?", then said "I cannot accept her as she cannot swear that she believes in Jesus Christ".

Imagine how we felt, having to tell our very best friend that she was not acceptable?

Fortunately she took it well, and said that she would instead be an "honorary godmother".

As a result, my daughter only had 1 godmother and 1 godfather, to the puzzlement of some members of the congregation.

The lady married my daughter's godfather a few years later........ at that point she said that he could do his duty as godfather, and she would take over when daughter reached 18. That in fact did not happen ............ he never relinquished his duty as godfather.

In fact, none of the godparents fulfilled their "duties" as intended by the church .......... but they did maintain major contact with my daughter, and watch that we were bringing her up as one would expect.


Interestingly, my daughter went to church regularly until about 3 years after she married, when she failed in finding any Anglican church in which she felt comfortable in her new place ........... she tried at least 4. All had homophobic vicars and congregations.

As a result, her own child has not been baptised, but they did have a "non-baptismal" appointment of godparents 2 years ago ........... celebrated at a dinner in their house. Her best female friend and husband agreed to be honorary godparents, and are the best that you can imagine, maintaining very regular contact with the child.

last time we were godparents in mid eighties - the vicar asked to meet the godparents first and we were grilled! Both Anglican - OK, both christened and confirmed OK
and OH offered he had been an alter boy for some years - think that swung it.

Funnily enough, our friend who is an RC priest popped in this morning. We chatted about baptism and he endorsed all that I have said. Non Catholics are only considered as 'witnesses' to a baptism, not as Godparents. On the other hand, the C. of E. does allow Roman Catholics to be Godparents.

Things often slip though because not enough checks are made. We ask if Godparents are baptised but don't ask for proof. Some clergy are very laissez faire about things and I know of a young (non practising) Muslim lad who was Godparent in a Christian ceremony simply because no one asked if he was baptised - which he wasn't of course. :-S

You must have gone to the same school that I attended, Rollo!

I certainly understand your frustration about religion but two things: the child is being baptised so it ought to be fine for people to buy any type of gift they deem suitable; and it is up to the parents to rear a child the way they see fit,

In my opinion, as long as the child is loved, cared for, nourished and educated counts for everything. Children soon make their own minds up when they hit their teens - and sometimes before - so guidance early is better than not at all, even though we may disagree with the guidance provided by some parents.

Non Catholics can be godparents to children baptised in the Roman Catholic faith.
My youngest had two C of E godparents and one RC.

All my godchildren/nieces/nephews received a silver plated money box from us

As far as I know they still use them now - well they tell me they do when i send birthday & Christmas money

:-\

only proper nouns are capitalised

My OH and my mother were both brought up in the RC church. Neither have anything good to say about it. Children should be left free to make up their own mind about religion when they are older not inculcated with it at a young age.

A good start would be to remove religion from schools altogether.

Last time we went we got together with 2 sets of friends who were also at odds with what to buy. In the end we got £100s of premium bonds between us - 1 small win so far, money went into her savings account for (hopefully) university.

The last couple of times we were invited to a baptism we bought a book of bible stories. There are various books of these stories available and, because we know parents and godparents have often bought chains, crosses, lockets, bibles, spoons and specially-engraved items we have always played safe by buying a bible stories' book which can be read as bedtime stories for a few years.

Thank you both.

Although I like the idea of a set of coins - I have one for the year I was born - we'll probably settle for a plain cross and chain. She does have some sort of savings account. We'll certainly consider giving a bit to be added to that.

Thanks to every one who has shared their ideas.

You beat me to it Sylvs. I was going to suggest either a bank account or an ISA of some sort. This can be added to over the years by those who don't know what to buy at Christmas and on birthdays.

I have been looking at gifts for twin boys who are about to be confirmed. I have chosen to get each of them a small wall cross which commemorates the event and which I know their parents will put up in their rooms.

Too often, I have seen the usual gifts of bibles, trinkets etc, put to one side and never used, and have even found such things in charity shops which is so sad.


As for the service itself, the Sacrament of Baptism is the same in both the RC and the C. of E. though the form of service may differ

The Godparents will make similar promises of turning to Christ and renouncing evil.

Though the form of service may differ, the vows are the same.

I don't think Saints names have to be given anymore, but you may find the priest uneasy at baptising a child with a name such as 'Cuddly Bear' :-D

Hopefully, there will be baptism preparation classes for the parents and Godparents to attend - but not all parishes offer this.

There are similar guidelines laid down by Church law for the Godparents - age 16 or over - baptised etc... I don't think non-catholics are allowed to be Godparents but may be classed as 'Christian Witnesses'.

I always end the classes I run by saying that I hope they have a wonderful day, but to remember that the most important part is when the water is poured over the child's head. Hope this helps. Enjoy. <3

If it is a close relative or friend, we actually start a bank account for the little one ........... or give the parents a cheque with instructions to do that (it's often much it's easier for parents to start the bank account).

Every parent has been very appreciative of the idea ............ and keep the account going by putting birthday money etc in there.

When OH was asked to be godfather, we gave it some thought....

We found a teddy bear that could be written on... everyone who was at the baptism wrote a message on the bear.... we also bought a set of coins minted that year..... and a really good bottle of wine... which OH & godson enjoyed on his 18th birthday :-D

Godson is now 21 ... and he is a wonderful young man.

Lots of ideas! Thank you :-)

How about a charm Bracelet .charms could be added as the years go by. gold cross first one or first initial .just a thought could be in a presentation box ,

You are quite right there Chris. I have a chosen extra holy name

Am not an RC but family members are and I seem to recall that at their confirmation they choose an extra name usually a 'holy' one - Saints or other.

Thank you Joan. Sounds 'different'!

We bought my great niece a silver four leaf clover charm on a silver chain engraved with her initials as her ancestry on her mother's side is Irish.

Kath. x