General Chat

June 1st is World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day.

About time too, I say!

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Ah sorry Sharron I misread your post (I didn't see the tic on the end!)

So do I Sharron it is about time folk were made aware of it and the awful problems it inflicts on victims <3

Sadly,Stockholm Syndrome does come into play and you need to understand just how deep the effect is on the victim.

If you've ever been there you will know what hell it is :-(

What really needs to change is for people to accept that it really does happen and for young children to not have to deal with it alone and unsupported or, indeed believed.

I wholeheartedly agree with you Sharron.

Please, if you don't understand what this is about, there is an article that wanders about on the internet that explains the characteristics of a narcissistic mother.

The way I find it is to put "Everything she does is deniable" into the search box and it comes up with it.

I consider myself to be adequately articulate but could never articulate the things that are in this piece of writing and have the utmost respect for whoever did.

interesting article, Rose.

I understand what you mean Nyx about ' walk away ' etc and not be a victim, that would be ideal.

Many have a narcissistic parent and the problem is very difficult for a child and subsequent adult who has grown up with such a parent because of the effect on a child. If you have grown up with an unloving, cold parent who only shows any caring or affection/praise for you when it can be 'seen' by others, who undermines and criticises you in everything you do, achieve in life and everything you wear. Who blames you for being born and the cause of their own unhappiness, because everything was fine till you came along, it has a fundamental, dreadful effect on your spirit and the very light that shines from your eyes.You become timid, reserved, unconfident and full of self doubt. You have no cloak of love, support or caring. Sharing any fears with the parent brings mockery and humiliation and being told you aren't right in the head. You feel worthless, become withdrawn, worried all the time, scared of the future because how could anyone ever want you if even your parent doesn't? You begin to think the parent may be right about you and try harder, do more for them, but you can never win.....you are damned if you don't do well at school and damned if you do, so it's a lose, lose situation and there's no escape. You can't walk out. You have to live with this alone because people have a tendency to think if you are being punished by a parent, you must have done something to deserve it, so you give up trying to explain, because you are not believed. It is the most lonely, hurtful place to be..........and it goes on for years and is a living hell as LaGooner says. By the time you are old enough to walk out, you aren't equipped for it mentally and you still have that self doubt and crave your parent to care for you and love you like others parents do. Even when you do eventually leave, you are constantly compared and guilt tripped and threatened with wills etc.

I agree wholeheartedly with the healthy attitude of not carrying them on your back long after they are gone, but how easy is that to achieve when their influence is there for many years into their needy old age. Neglecting them then only leads to more criticism from those on the outside who haven't a clue about these things but have plenty of opinions to share about an apparently 'uncaring child of that poor mother' . (not aimed at you Nyx, but just at the uninformed general public). That is why there needs to be awareness.

Well said Ann, I was always told I was not wanted and never good enough my so called mother was a nasty evil woman and was until the day she died. That is when I was able to get on with life as best I could. Fortunately I have a darling understanding 2nd husband who is my rock <3

Annx, thank you so much. You have hit the nail on the head.

Just like other forms of child abuse, narcissistic abuse has been able to thrive under a veil of secrecy, with the child being led to believe that it as all their own fault. Those who have not experienced it really can't imagine it happens at all and I can't blame them for that, it is utterly pointless and bizarre behaviour but so, so hurtful.