General Chat

Just heard these.......( no offence ment to anyone, these are animal jokes from an animal rescue!)

Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, 'What are you up to there, Tim?' 'My goldfish died,' replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, 'and I've just buried him.' The neighbour was concerned, 'That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?' Timmy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, 'That's because he's inside your f***** cat.'

PMSL very funny catherine xx

What happened to the cat who ate a ball of wool??? She had mittens!!!! LOU XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We have been rolling around reading these at work today....There are many, many more, but i can't type that fast, lol....xxxxx

How do you know cats arn't sensative creatures? They never cry over spilt milk!!!!!! Boom Boom!!!!! LOU XXXXXXXXXXXXX

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin????? There was some money in the kitty!!!!! LOU XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

pmsl brill Caz x

pmsl Very funny - got any more - good typing practice !!!! Love Mary in Spain xx

daft mare!! LOL!!

All about cats! Have you got any dog ones? lol

ok.. Dog joke..I was at a cattery though, lol.... Two men are walking their dogs, a poodle and a german shepard. They decide they'd like to go into a bar for a drink. 'But we can't bring our dogs into that bar,' says the poodle's human. 'Hey, no problem,' says the german shepard's owner. 'Just watch this.' He pulls out a pair of sunglasses and walks into the bar. 'Hey, no dogs!' yells the bartender. 'But this is a seeing eye dog,' says the german shepard's human. The bartender apologizes and shows them to a chair. So, the poodle owner decides to follow suit, whips out his sunglasses, and walks into the bar. 'Hey, no dogs!' yells the bartender. 'But this is a seeing eye dog,' says the poodle's human. The bartender objects, 'Hey, poodles can't be seeing eye dogs!' The poodle owner gasps, 'Poodle? They told me they were giving me a german shepard!' LOU XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

NUTTER:-)))))lol

Hope you don't get catty if I add another dog joke lol A fellow walks into a pub with his pet dog which starts to do lots of fantastic tricks. An onlooker asks him how much he wants for the dog. The dog owner says, 'there is no money in the world that can buy this dog' 'Why not' asked the onlooker. The dog owner said, 'Well, every morning when the alarm goes off, the dog goes down stairs puts the kettle on and makes me a cup of tea which it brings up to the bedroom. Then it goes down again and makes me two slices of toast and a boiled egg which it brings up to the bedroom. Then, it brings me a knife to cut the top off my egg and a spoon to spoon out the contents of the shell. After that, it gets down at the side of the bed and balances on its front legs with its bottom stuck up in the air'. 'Why does it do that' asked the onlooker. 'Because' said the dog owner, 'I haven't got any egg cups'. Jeff