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How to say No!!! And mean it

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Zoe

Zoe Report 21 Jul 2006 14:41

Was watching the afternoon play on BBC on Wednesday and someone on there was reading this book called something like - How To Say No And Mean It. I *really really* wish you could get somethig like that. Despite being THE most knackered person in the world I've just agreed to do another double shift on Sunday (bringing this months tally up to 26) even though I wanted to spend the morning/afternoon with the kids before I came into work. So..... if anyone has any good tips on how to tell someone No rather than your head saying No and your mouth betraying you and saying yes.

Guinevere

Guinevere Report 21 Jul 2006 14:46

A psychologist told me that the secret is to say No without giving elaborate reasons. 'I'm sorry, but that isn't possible' 'I can't do that, I'm sorry'. 'Not possible this Sunday, sorry.' Gwynne

Merlin

Merlin Report 21 Jul 2006 14:47

How about,'Having made other arrangements that cannot be broken,its not possible?' other than that,Sod off and ask somebody else. If the first Polite one does,nt work,the second one should. Hal.

Zoe

Zoe Report 21 Jul 2006 14:48

see - that's what my brains saying but it comes out as 'I need to check but I can't see it being a problem' (Gwynne's reply that is - not hal's)

≈≈≈Jenny≈≈≈

≈≈≈Jenny≈≈≈ Report 21 Jul 2006 14:48

I agree with Gwynne - never say 'because' ! Jenx

Paul

Paul Report 21 Jul 2006 14:56

Strange that, in my experience women don't normally have a problem saying no, and they generally mean it lol

Zoe

Zoe Report 21 Jul 2006 14:58

*points at Chunks and laughs*

Jean Durant

Jean Durant Report 21 Jul 2006 14:59

All depends what they are saying no to Paul. lol

Guinevere

Guinevere Report 21 Jul 2006 14:59

... and it always depends who's askin' Gwynne

Janice

Janice Report 21 Jul 2006 15:22

Write kids-slots into your diary - coded if necessary - so that when you 'check' you can say you are already booked. You'll have plenty of time for work when the kids have gone. Janice

Jeanie

Jeanie Report 21 Jul 2006 15:36

I think its about working out why you say yes. Is it guilt? I used to nurse and always felt guilty if I said no. However, I decided that if I had made plans such as being with the children then I would just say,'Sorry, I have plans' But if I did not have plans then I would say yes. I felt this was fair to both work and the family Most of the other staff seemed to be made up from those who always said no and those who always said yes. Jeanie A.

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 21 Jul 2006 15:40

Maybe a good assertiveness course would help. Ann Glos

Chris in Sussex

Chris in Sussex Report 21 Jul 2006 16:40

Ohh Janice.... Way back in a previous life I was a Building Society Manager... I would often write ficticious mortgage appointments for a saturday morning in my diary to ensure I had an hour to catch up with the stuff I hadn't dealt with during the week. Sometimes I would forget what I had 'booked' and found myself with three hours free.....BLISS!!! :) LOL Chris