General Chat

SOME COMPLAINTS TO HACKNEY COUNCIL All the following are real letters to Hackney Council. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob off. The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared. The man next door has a huge erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous. I need money to buy special medicine for my husband as he is unable to masturbate his food. I am pleased to inform you that my husband who was reported missing, is dead. My husband is diabetic and has to take insolence regular, but he finds he is lethargic to it. The children have been off school because there is a lot of measles about and I had them humanised. In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope. Re your dental enquiry. The teeth on top are alright, but those on my bottom are hurting dreadfully. I am very annoyed that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a lie as I married his father a week before he was born. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next door.

Thanks for the smiles! Trudi ;0)

Brilliant!!! C xx

Ha Ha !!!!

thanks, you've made me giggle...... Barbara..xx

SOME COMPLAINTS TO HACKNEY COUNCIL All the following are real letters to Hackney Council. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob off. The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared. The man next door has a huge erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous. I need money to buy special medicine for my husband as he is unable to masturbate his food. I am pleased to inform you that my husband who was reported missing, is dead. My husband is diabetic and has to take insolence regular, but he finds he is lethargic to it. The children have been off school because there is a lot of measles about and I had them humanised. In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope. Re your dental enquiry. The teeth on top are alright, but those on my bottom are hurting dreadfully. I am very annoyed that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a lie as I married his father a week before he was born. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next door.

Sorry, didn't realise it came out all squashed together!! Carol

I used to work in a post office and actully had the following two things said to me. 'I've come to collect my husband's infidelity benefit as he's laid up in bed' 'I didn't sleep at all well last night, I think it was the wind whistling down my back passage' Try keeping a straight face to serve people when they say things like that! Helen

Helen, That's excellent! Ever thought of gathering them all up and writing a book!? I often think of that, as I work in a Children's Nursery, and the stuff they come out with is hilarious! Carol

Gillian lol!! Carol

Hi Carol Perhaps we could get everyone to contribute on the board and produce a GR one!! I have also worked in a kindergarten and couldn't repeat some of the things the children have said to me, as the parents would be mortified! (Note for parents of all 3 year olds, make sure they are at least a mile away when you discuss anything remotely embarrasing or indulge in any pleasures of the flesh, they will tell all to any adult that will listen!!) Helen

came home from work feeling very down but after reading all these quotes i am rolling round laughing. thankyou for lifting my spirits. tina x