General Chat

Gillie Sending you love and hugs, because I know how you feel. I went through exactly the same situation with my best friend and I can't give you any answers to your questions. I do know that she is still with me in spirit though, and I see her smiling face every day. Mandy xx

I have had several friends and relatives who have died (slowly) from cancer and one of the things which has always struck me is that at some point they accept their fate with equanimity and appear to have a far-away look in their eyes, almost as if they have turned their faces against the world and are looking at something WE cannot see - it does not scare them in the way it would scare us, the healthy ones. And I truly believe that no-one is ever really dead, as long as someone who is living, remembers them with love - perhaps that's why I like Family History so much! OC

Oh dear, wish I could give you some advice, but I can't. I always find it difficult to know what to say to people in that situation. It's usually let them do the talking. As you say, they are usually very composed about the whole thing. I suppose they must get strength from somewhere when the time comes. Be thinking of you and your friend in my prayers tonight. Margaret

Gillie, hope you don't mind but I've pm'd you. Deanna X

Hi Gillie, i do know how you feel, in the last 10 years i have lost a much loved aunt who i was very close to and then my dad and my mum all to different cancers but cancer all the same. I think it's the hardest thing in the world to do, see someone else suffer. Keep hold of your memories. Gill x

I often ask that question Gillie. my sister in law died of cancer when she was 41 leaving three children. She was the most inspirational person,always smiling and thinking about how others felt.Indeed she made us laugh and asked us to bring in goodies to eat ie cream cakes etc. saying she could eat anything she liked! We loved her and I think to myself when i'm having a selfish'i'm getting old day' that she never lived to get old, but she left us with many happy memories. Mau XX

My Husband is going through something similar to you - he is loosing his Uncle to Cancer and it's so upsetting. I think it gets to you so much because it's not a quick illness if you know what I mean? I can't imagine how it must be to be in there position, but I suppose you eventually except what's happening and cope the best you can, I really don't know. I know that it's something that's weighing heavy on my mind and heart too at the moment and I know what you mean about everyone else seeming to find it harder than the person who is ill, maybe they learn to except their fate? You and your friend will be in my prayers. Kaye x

In November 2004, I went to Wales to see my friend, who like yours was dying of cancer. Another mutual college friend came with me and we had the reunion that we had meant to have before, but hadn't got around to.We hadn't all been together for 35 years.- oh why do we leave it so long? We had a wonderful day together. Lor got out old photos and we all laughed at the fashions and about our memories of what we used to get up to.She mentioned her illness but was so matter of fact about it.She tried on a special outfit to show us what she would wear for a family wedding the following week and we took photos. I felt very much as you do, but we took our lead from Lor and 'played' the situation her way. Now that she is no longer with us, I treasure the memory of that day. She left a legacy of love to all who knew her. I hope you will have special memories of happy times with YOUR friend. I will be thinking of you. Gwyn

My cousin has had four major ops for bowl cancer ,he's been told next time,thats it,for the last few months hes been getting lots of stomach bugs as he calls them...i'm scared stiff,havnt said anything ,he wont go to doctors,, i think he knows xxx

Gillie all I can offer is (((hugs)))))for you both take care xxxxxxx

Sometimes we can be closer to friends than family. But I guess that you are right in saying you find it hard because she is near to you in age and you have been through this with her. I think people must be given some extra resilliance to deal with this sort of trauma. I always remember how Gaynor was and hope, if it ever happens to me, I will cope in the same way as she did. I am so sorry for your friend and for you, shall be thinking of you. Ann Glos

Sometimes it just pierces us through the heart.............love to you both................. Barbara..xx..xx..xx

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