General Chat

When is a man too old to be a father ??? I know men can father children right into their 90s but when do you think age becomes an issue ? Clare.xx

Obviously it depends on the individual; but, I would have thought by the late 50's most men would balk at the idea!

Personally I think late 50s is probably the maximum age really. I know any of us can die at any age but the older you are the more chance there is that your child is going to lose a parent at a young age. Clare.xx

hi clare, both david jason,and des o'connor,have become 'elderly'dads,but they are both wealthy,healthy,and wise. i would love to be a dad again,but at my age,i would like a lady about 45,and so it would not really be possible. bryan.

Clare, I think the physical fathering of a child is far less important than the child's wellbeing and upbringing. Older parents are less likely to be around for as long, so the child might lose one or both before reaching adulthood. It's true that age does necessarily prevent people being good parents, but it's not always possible for older parents to do things with their child that younger ones can, so the child could lose out. There could also be financial hardship if parents retire and are still responsible for a child's upkeep. My father was 43 and my mother 37 when I was born, and although my father spent time with me, my mother could never be bothered. Fun was in short supply at home during my childhood. When my Dad died at 55, I was 12, and money was tight until I left school at 18. My mother (then aged 55) didn't want to support me any longer, so further education was out of the question for me. CB >|<

Hi Clare, Research has shown that children of older men are statistically more prone to birth defects, as with older women. My father was over 40 when I arrived but he was really fit. He has said that he found fatherhood exhausting, though. I was a bit embarrassed at having a father old enough to be my grandfather when I was a teenager, I must admit. It also meant I never got chance to know one set of grandparents. My grandfather died before I was born and my grandmother when I was four. I suppose it also depends on how well off a man is. It would be difficult to afford to clothe a teenager in the sort of clothes they like when you are on a pension. Let alone the other demands they make for phones and gadgets. Gwynne

Hi Clare a good question my personal view is when he is to old to join in all the physical things that children enjoy doing and its not the same asplaying with your grandchildren Howardxx

I don't think age is such a huge issue - you're as young as you feel. Any of us could die at any time - both my Parents are still alive and kicking at 67 and 64, but my Husband's Dad was just 53 when he died of a massive heart attack, he had four children with the youngest being 14. I believe in living for now and if you're fit an healthy then age isn't such a huge factor - many people are unfit and unhealthy even in their 20's. Kaye x

Dunno. I'm 81..... any young gal want to test me? Len

I'd say that no age is too old to father a child...... But to be a Dad is another matter!!! My god-daughter has a father who is just 42 - she's 18..... and he's NEVER EVER BEEN HER DAD!! Silly man!!

Although I did not have any children until I was in my forties and my wife was 34, I told her that I had 5 born out of wedlock and that my mum looked after them and that she farmed them out when we visited. len

I was talking to a patient the other day who had her first and last child at 44. She`s a very young 46 now but only 6 years younger than me and my daughter`s 25! Rosalyn

My mum was 43 and my dad 47 when I was born and it wasn't until I was 28 that I accepted I wasn't a mistake. And that was thanks to the parents of children at school who I overheard saying that. Mum always said I was a surprise but never a mistake but I never really believed her so grew up feeling very insecure. I hated not having grandparents, 2 died before I was born and 2 before I started school. Although I was the youngest of 3, I always felt like an only child as my sister & brother were 15 & 13 years older and away at boarding school till they were 17 or 18, and they both married young at 19 & 21. My friends dad's used to play with them in the park and things and I hated that my dad couldn't, I blamed his age, but now realise it was his health, he had 3/4 of his stomach removed during the war. Personally I don't like the idea of older parents but that's just because of my own experience, not that they didn't anything wrong.