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Funny - How many women with.......

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

~ Oleander

~ Oleander Report 29 Jun 2005 12:38

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE (or PMS) does it take to change a light bulb? A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! . . I'm sorry. What was the question?

DAVE B

DAVE B Report 29 Jun 2005 12:40

Brilliant Oleander lol! fortunatly Jaqui my wife is now past both these obstacles not to say she doent still have her moments lol! Dx

ButtercupFields

ButtercupFields Report 29 Jun 2005 12:41

Jacqui - that was soooo funny....any more? lol BC

~ Oleander

~ Oleander Report 29 Jun 2005 12:41

Made me chuckle Dave.....Been there, seen it, got the T-shirt and everything else!!!! Jacquie xxx

~ Oleander

~ Oleander Report 29 Jun 2005 12:46

Sorry Wales……. Cardiff Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of Gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was on heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Gareth, a big Welsh lad from Swansea, responsible for fixing the Zoo’s machinery. Gareth, like most Swansea boys, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Gareth was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have a sh. . with the gorilla for £500? Gareth showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Gareth announced that he would accept their offer, only under three conditions: “First “ he said “ I don’t want to have to kiss her. Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this” The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition. “Well”, said Gareth…… “You gotta give me another week to come up with the £500”.

~ Oleander

~ Oleander Report 29 Jun 2005 21:05

Nudging for Buttercup

~♥ Daisy ♥~

~♥ Daisy ♥~ Report 29 Jun 2005 21:10

Have just read this out to my family who sat there nodding and laughing and then my daughter said 'that's just like you Mum'! BLESS. Grrrr Daisy

Heather

Heather Report 29 Jun 2005 21:16

Oleander, what you missed out was the frigging box that the bulb came in would still be on the floor, but the old burnt out bulb rammed into it, so that you pick it up thinking its a spare and back it goes in the cabinet.

***Julie*Ann***.sprinkling fairydust***

***Julie*Ann***.sprinkling fairydust*** Report 29 Jun 2005 21:47

lmao this is a good cheery thread, no offence taken from this lady living in wales, sense of humour see in it

~ Oleander

~ Oleander Report 29 Jun 2005 21:50

Thanks Julie Anne....I have 3 teenage boys staying with me at the moment.......from Wales!!!!!! Jacquie xxx

***Julie*Ann***.sprinkling fairydust***

***Julie*Ann***.sprinkling fairydust*** Report 29 Jun 2005 21:52

i hope they not swansea lads

~ Oleander

~ Oleander Report 29 Jun 2005 21:55

No Julie.....from Carmarthenshire, and very well behaved.....so far!!!! Jacquie xxxx