General Chat

Just recently I head that our next door neighbour is very ill,suffering from an inoperable brain tumour. He is only 35, married with 2 young sons. The thing is we had a bit of a falling out about 18 months ago and we've not spoken since. Although his wife and I have exchanged polite smiles there's been no real conversation as such. I would like to offer some sympathy and maybe take her a few flowers but I'm not sure if I'd be welcome. She has excellent family support and could well be resentful of any intrusion. On the other hand I wouldn't want her to feel that I was being deliberately uncaring and still bearing a grudge. Any thoughts or advice would be very welcome.

This is the ideal time to make your peace. A terminal diagnosis changes a person's perspective on what really is important.

I can only speak for myself - I would bite the bullet and do what you think.......you might regret it if you don't? It's only my opinion though. Luv Lorr x x x

Hows about putting a little note card through the letterbox, so that they can read a note from you in private ......... then perhaps take some flowers round, depending on the response? (Which I'm sure would be positive). Good luck. x

Perhaps send a note to them expressing your sadness and offering your help if it should ever be needed. This would then put the ball in their court without making them have to deal with it face to face. It is very sad for them. Sarah

I would say a card first expressing how sorry you are to hear the news and that you wish that things were better between you/ maybe apologise if you think it was your fault (or even if it wasn't). then, if that has a good reception, a bunch of flowers. Ann Glos

I would also first send a note expressing sorrow and offering help. The next time you see her/him i bet they would stop and talk to you, you have nothing to loose by doing this.Good Luck.

Thanks - I think putting a card or note through the letterbox is a good suggestion. Sadly my hubby doesn't share my sympathy - he has never liked this neighbour, always thought he was very arrogant and rude (which I have to admit is true). I suppose I'm thinking more of his wife and what she is having to cope with. If it was the other way around I'm sure I would appreciate any little kindness.

Hi I think you're acting in a very human and decent way......how kind you are. Luv Lorr x x x

Have just sent you a message. Jacky :-)

I'm glad that you have decided to post a note/card. When people are going through difficult times, just by acknowledging their predicament can be a great source of comfort for them, however small.

Glad that you have decided to send them a note Jayvee. That is what I would have done. It's not too intrusive and shows that you care. Maggy