General Chat

a friend of mine has told me she is pregnant...but she doesnt know if she is ready to have the baby or not. she is living with her boyfriend and she told me that would love to have a child but she thinks that they are not financially ready for it. My thoughts are that she should face up to things, if she wants to have this child then she should not have a termination just because of financial difficulties! she asked me for my opinion, but i thought who the hell am i to tell her what she should or should not do!!! i said that i will be there for her with whatever decision she makes but i just dont know what else to say to her. i dont want to be the one to make the choice for her...it is NOT my place to but she just seems so lost!

I can understand where you are coming from, but what you said was the best answer a true friend could give, you are right you can't make that choice for her, good luck. Bev

thnaks guys! i have got myself into a stupid situation before, i was actually ok in the end but people on here helped me so much, our bec even stayed on the phone to me till i found out, i just want her to feel like im giving her the right support xx

You have acted like a real friend. She needs to make this choice herself and knowing that you are there will help her. Helen :-)

I think you're doing the right thing sweetie. Noone can really tell her what to do, she needs to discuss it with her partner and come to a decision. Love becx (Always at the other end of the phone for any other potential emergencies too!)

The only one that can make that decision is your friend... Just be there for her, she will need you whatever she decides. Have emailed you Jacquie

thank you ladies you have made me feel better...now i will work on her!! Yes i will stick to what i have said, and that i will be there no matter what, thank you, once again you lot have come up trumps!! xxx

I said, after last weekend, that i wouldn't post on the gen board agian but i have an opion and will share it, despite the possible backlash that i will no doubt get. You have a friend in a predicament - presumably wether or not to terminate the life of her unborn child- remind her of this will you She may not be able to 'afford' it now but will she cope with the heartache in years to come that she may have thwarted her only chance to become a mother..... She should consider herself lucky to have the chance of that gift.Someof us were never in the position to make that choice even if we wanted to. Second thoughts, encourage her to go through will it and give the child for adoption- I'll afford it, or some other woman who is unable through no fault of her own to bear a child. Sorry, yes, this does upset me Jess

Jess i completely understand, i really do! if it were my choice i want her to have this child, but its not me is it... Thank you for your opinion xx

Steedie, you are right to say you can't make the decision for her and she knows that you will be there for her. You could let her talk it through with you (without giving your opinion as to what she should do) Maybe she doesn't know the options open to her or maybe she has closed her mind against them. I feel that if she is putting finance as the main problem that she has already made her decision, if she really truly wanted a child she would not be put off by the lack of finance. But that is not for you to say to her, she has to decide for herself. jess I can see where you are coming from and it must be so hurtful to read and hear of people having terminations when you would so love a child. Of course you are entitled to your opinion and we respect that. there was a piece in the mail today on this very subject which you would empathise with. But Speedy's friend and her partner have to decide what she knows (or feels) is right for her. Ann Glos

I agree with you Ann and also many others for what they have said here. Steedie excuse me for a moment but I just want to say this here to Jess and others who feel as she does. Jess your opinion is as valuable as anyone else on this General board, there is no one above anyone else here, we all pays our money so we are all equal with the same rights to post on these threads so PLEASE keep posting here. Pat x

It is a privilege to have a child, which I have not been fortunate enough to have. Personally speaking, I could not have a termination solely because of financial difficulties. That would not be a good enough reason for me. It has to be your friend's own decision. I could not give her advice. One last thought - does the unborn baby's father not have a say in the matter? or does he not know? Joy