General Chat

Very interesting, Frances. It adds a bit of spice to a boring list of facts and figures. I wonder what future generations will think of our lives? Society is changing so fast. One thing I have learned since I started my research is not to judge earlier generations and accept them for the people they were because they make us who we are today. The decisions they made affect us to this day. Susan.

As you say Susan, one day it won`t matter, and that is what is important now, that you record it and it is there for the future. It certainly makes this research interesting though doesn`t it! Frances

You are right, Frances. I have a certificate that proves what I had guessed, so will put it away safely. One day it won't matter but it affects a living person. It may upset this person's children who are in their 60's. However, because they live in England it won't be hard to keep quiet. Of course, they may also find it an amusing surprise, but we don't know them well enough to take the chance and as the person involved is 94 - well, I don't think it would be right. Of course, they may already know but I don't want to 'stir the pot'. Susan

Susan, I have some very sensitive information about my ex father-in -law that would serve no useful purpose at present if I were to share it. I have recorded it in a sealed envelope, so that it will explain things at a later date. I would not want there to be any misunderstanding about a family situation, that exists now, in the future. However, I am witholding it only to protect the innocent now. I think you need to look at who it would affect and what purpose it would serve if you shared it. Hope that makes sense! Frances

Lara, you have a more difficult situation than I have. Mine really only involves getting married several years after the last child was born. Bob, families are capable of using information to hurt others. My father was very angry with my sister over an incident in her life that resulted in divorce. I found out something about my dad which could blow up if my sister found out. The fact that it happened 60 years ago would make no difference. I think it makes my father more human as he is a very stern man, but my sister would see it as hypocrisy and cause no end of trouble. Boy, could I have fun with that one!!!! Susan.

Thank you for your replies. As I am here in Australia, it would be easy to say nothing and it is only one person it would shock, I think. I could pass it on to this person's family in England, but will keep it to myself. Isn't it funny how we see things so differently now compared to early 1900's. I don't think life was so different, but society saw it differently. We were actually amused by what I found out but, at the same time, knew it would upset the relative. Chances are she already knows, but wouldn't want anyone else to know. I have found a few skeletons in both sides of my family as I'm sure all of you have. Things that we accept these days, were pushed in the cupboard years age. Again thank you for your opinions. Susan.

Yes, definitely Bob. Be careful WHO you speak to about it. Deanna

Susan what would be acheived by telling her , if it is something that would hurt and upset her just keep it to your self and I think that means not telling anybody that would have a different opinion of the elderly person because of this information too , I know some one in my family had an affair that resulted in a child that is his being born and the mother of the baby passed it of as her husbands I found out accidently and I have never told anyone as I think why hurt the people involved there is only two of the people involved still alive and the child,I will decide later when the parents pass on if I will tell her or not and until then keep it to my self Laraxx

If it serves no purpose. Then ignore it. On the other hand, we often know more than we let on to others. She may know something. If you chatted would she perhaps give clues as to whether she knew or not? Deanna

Susan,for what my opinion is worth, if as you say it will serve no useful purpose, to divulge this info,then i would agree, sit on it. However, I would suggest that however you record it, to ensure that it will not get into the hands of other family members that may be likely to use it as ammunition........ Bob

If it serves no purpose to tell them, then I would keep quiet about it. My grandfather commited suicide by cutting his throat. We all knew about it, but seeing the death cert in black and white and the inquest report was a bit daunting. I didnt show them to my elderly relatives, his children. Margaret

What do you do if you find sensitive information that may upset an older person? Do you sit on it, tell them gently, or just not tell? I found something out that surprised me, but would upset an elderly person in regards to her parents. It serves no purpose to tell them, so do I keep my mounth shut? Susan.