General Chat

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll call the undertaker and pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them off! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts. A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream, and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, 'Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.' 'What do you mean?' asked his wife. 'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, with some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.'

YUK!!!!!!!! but made me giggle!!

Speedy,what a great one, my sides are aching, just what I needed, Im off to visit my mum,in hospital,not to tell her,but it will brighten up some of the nurses. trish xxxx

Excellent!!! Liz x

hahahahahahahahahahaha........ Brilliant

Guess who's husband has been sent a copy of this!! Jacky :-)

Oh yeuk! Very funny though.

eeewwwwwwww

Oh Yuk!! But I am laughing - Rose

Absolutley Brilliant!!!!!! Daughter just came running upstairs to see if I was OK. Talk about Laughing out Loud. LOL Jenny. xx

Sorry for this one being a bit sick, but it is also funny so I thought why not share it. Bev

BRILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just sent that to my hubby's email. very funny Margaret

Ugh! lol Daisy

thats funny but sick too, i wish id got something like that for my hubby, as we went out saturday for a rare evening out with friends, to a party, he rarely drinks but when he does he goes over the top, needless to say he got up in his sleep and forgot the bathroom was not the corner of our bedroom, he wouldnt listen when i yelled at him, and yelled back that he was pxxxing on someone he didnt like, he didnt realise when he woke up the next morning, the corner of the room is where he piles his clothes when hes too lazy to put them away, he asked why i was lookin at him odd, i told him the washing machine was free if he cared to rewash all his ironing from the bedroom floor, lol sorry for adding this to your thread speedy but thought it simular today he needed reminding an appology was in order,

Ooops Julie, me thinks some one is in the dog house, and so he should be, after you spent time washing and ironing, but if you work this right you could live off it for quite some time... :))) Bev

thats wot im thinking, he did start to have a paddy because i borrowed my dads carpet cleaner and dumped it in the hall, he then asked today after hed cleaned carpet what was bothering me, so i told him how hed been obnoxious while at party i wont hold my breath for him to grovel though lmao the kids both think its hilarious