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A bit of light hartedness

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Speedy

Speedy Report 6 Feb 2005 19:27

I had to share these with you, they made me cry with laughter, and we all need that some times. :))) Bev

Looney_tunz

Looney_tunz Report 6 Feb 2005 19:26

really funny ...but a little worrying!!

☼♥Missy

☼♥Missy Report 6 Feb 2005 19:26

They are great Speedy - so funny! Lorrainex:-))

Speedy

Speedy Report 6 Feb 2005 19:18

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that needs repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that the ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problem as submitted by the Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident & these are honest to goodness truths: (P =The problem logged by the pilot) (S =The solution and action taken by the engineers) P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight ok, except auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably load S: DME volume set to a more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That’s what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative in off mode S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed.

Speedy

Speedy Report 6 Feb 2005 19:18

See below, give me chance...