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Instructions for Drive Thru Cash Machines (funny)

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Marion

Marion Report 2 Feb 2005 13:32

Sorry ladies but I thought this was quite funny. Apologies if you've seen it before. See below.

Marion

Marion Report 2 Feb 2005 13:33

Please note that the HSBC Bank is installing new "drive thru" cashpoint machines, customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that refers to your own circumstances (Male or Female) and remember them for when you use the machine for the 1st time. MALE PROCEDURE. 1) Drive up to cash machine. 2) Wind down your car window. 3) Insert card into machine and enter pin. 4) Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5) Wind up window. 6) Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE. 1) Drive up to cash machine. 2) Reverse back the required amount to align car window to cash machine. 3) Restart the stalled engine. 4) Wind down the window. 5) Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 6) Turn the radio down. 7) Attempt to insert card into cash machine. 8) Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to excessive distance from the car. 9) Insert card. 10) Re-insert card the right way up. 11) Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 12) Enter PIN 13) Press cancel and re-enter PIN 14) Enter amount of cash required. 15) Check make up in rear view mirror. 16) Retrieve cash and receipt. 17) Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 18) Place receipt in back of cheque book. 19) Recheck make up again. 20) Drive forward 2 meters. 21) Reverse back to cash machine. 22) Retrieve card 23) Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into slot provided. 24) Restart stalled engine and proceed. 25) Drive for 2-3 miles. 26) Release handbrake.

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 2 Feb 2005 14:08

Dunno about the girls getting it wrong, didnt the Male forget to collect his card?

Researching:
me and my darling wife at our wedding in 1960

Marion

Marion Report 2 Feb 2005 14:24

You are right Bob. I now feel totally vindicated. At least us girlies didn't forget that bit. lol. Marion

SheilaSomerset

SheilaSomerset Report 2 Feb 2005 14:31

LOL Marion! My only experience of drive-thru cash machines was in USA, where I worked for about a year. I'd only been there a few days when I managed to wreck the front tyre on my hire car by driving too close to the 'kerb' on which the machine stood. I had to call out an office colleague to change the tyre (it was completely shredded, lol), I was very wary of drive-thrus after that!

Researching:
Gloucestershire, Dorset, Hampshire, Derbyshire, London, Lithuania, Russia

Christine2

Christine2 Report 2 Feb 2005 14:33

You forgot drive back to retrieve everything that fell out when you opened the door LOL :))))