General Chat

well, I thought they were amusing.......

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouser bloke 6ft 5in Tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella finally plucks up the courage To say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear 'Do you want a bl*w job?' he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed, the bartender quickly brings over another beer. 'I've never seen you react like that' he says 'Just what did he say to you?' 'I'm not sure' the big scouser replies. 'Something about a job.' ------------------------------------------ Q. If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle. ------------------------------ Q: Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool? A: Because if it walked it would be mugged. ------------------------------------------ Q: What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi? A: A Burglar. ------------------------------------------ Q: What do you call a Scouser in a tie? A: The accused. --------------- Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside? A: Because God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. ---------------------------------------- Q: What is the difference between a Scouser and a coconut? A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut. ------------------------------------- Q: What do you say to a scouser in a uniform? A: Big Mac and fries please. ------------------------------------- Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night? A: What you looking at? ------------------------------------ Q: What do you call a scouser in a White Shell suit A: The Bride. --------------------------------------- A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up To The counter and said 'Hi, I'm looking for job'. The man behind the counter replied 'Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided. Because of the long hours of this job meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year'. The scouser said 'You're bullsh*tting me!' The man behind the counter said 'Well you started it!' Bob

for hoff

funny NOT

Oh dear pity you for telling such out of date jokes. tut, tut.

Ooops

nice ones Bob pmsl

Bob-what can I say !!!!! catherine xx

Bob A good effort at humour but clearly you seriously missed the mark. Money for old rope I would say! Funny? Got to agree with Keith - NOT! :)

you tell him gang

What a sad old dingo u must be.......must have taken u yrs to collect them...........

Sorry if they are old hat!!! they were new to me....... A joke is only old, if you have heard it before,,,,,,,, Bob

Oldies but goodies - heard em all at least 30 years ago! For 'scouser' just substitute your favourite ethnic minority - lol!