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Biological dad, wish I'd
Profile | Posted by | Options | Post Date |
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RStar | Report | 24 Nov 2007 15:54 |
nerer bothered finding him! It took me 10 years to trace him, and we speak once or twice a year - which is fine, I know too much time has passed for us to be close, and he has other kids who dont like him having 'another family'. So for 8 years thats been ok, we've texted to say Happy Birthday, Happy Christmas etc. But a few days ago I copied out his side of the tree and sent it, he hasnt got email so I typed it out, took ages. I was really pleased he wanted to see who his ancestors were. Just got a text saying his daughter (29, not a child!) feels left out! But she sees him every single day, and goes on holiday twice a yr with him. If anything, its me who should be jealous - yet Im not, because I was just so glad to have a family at last. She hates me even speaking to him on the phone, let alone seeing him. Even on my wedding he had to reassure her she was no 1, while she sat there sulking! All I wanted was to know my roots, but it seems I should shut up and go away, so I dont upset his precious daughter. |
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₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&# | Report | 24 Nov 2007 15:58 |
I think the fault lies with her rather than him hun. She is obviously feeling insecure, and has probably been daddies princess all her life, so feels threatened by you coming on the scene. |
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~Summer Scribe~ | Report | 24 Nov 2007 15:59 |
I feel bad for you. He's obviously not much of a man if he would let her dictate his life to him like that. Perhaps you should tell him exactly how you feel, that she should stop acting like a spoilt child and accept that you're a part of his life and not going anywhere. The fact of the matter is, she's missing out on not having a half-sister and that's sad for both of you, but she's obviously been brought up to be daddy's princess and at 29 she should really get over herself. Perhaps you should remind them both that you *are* his daughter too. |
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♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥ | Report | 24 Nov 2007 16:06 |
I'm inclined to agree with TW on this one. |
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RStar | Report | 24 Nov 2007 16:10 |
My half sister was brought up by her mother to know that I existed, as her mum initially was going to adopt me, before my mum decided to keep me. At nearly 30 yrs old and married with 3 boys (she's even jealous that I have 2 girls!) I would have thought she'd welcome being a sister and an auntie. I'd have done anything for her and her sons. Ive deleted my dads number from my phone, its just a shame Im so involved in tracing his tree, wish Id not bothered that. |
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AnninGlos | Report | 24 Nov 2007 16:16 |
Don't erase your Dad from your life. Just go on as you have been doing. He is still your Dad, he should be reassuring her that he doesn't have favourites and that you are his child too. I agree, it is possibly hard for her but, as she has always known about you she should by now and at her age have come to terms with it. If she is envious of your two girls it sounds as if she has a jealous personality and there is not a lot you can do about that. |
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AnnCardiff | Report | 24 Nov 2007 16:17 |
Aw don't fret hun, you've done the right thing all along the line - she needs to grow up and he needs to stand up and be counted - it'll all come out right in the end and that old saying, waht goes round comes round is so true, even if it takes a long time. I have one sister, younger than me, and she stopped speaking to me two and a half years ago - hurt terribly initially but now I can live with it - just don't let it eat away at you - you've got your own family for support and love Ann XX |
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LesleyB | Report | 24 Nov 2007 16:24 |
Romany, come on my luv don't fret, she is just jealous of you, which is a shame she is gonna miss out on so much. As Ann rightly says what goes around comes around, you have a right to keep in touch with your Dad. |
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RStar | Report | 24 Nov 2007 16:33 |
Aw thankyou, thats lovely. Just had a little cry, but we're child free tonight (a rarity!) so husband has told me to get ready so we can go shopping for some clothes, then we're going out for dinner and to a couple of wine bars. Im lucky to have a family of my own; hubby and kids! Will be back on tomorrow, have a nice night all. xxx |
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LesleyB | Report | 24 Nov 2007 16:34 |
Have a lovely time xxxxxxx |
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Trudy | Report | 24 Nov 2007 16:41 |
I am trying to trace my mother who walked out on her 5 children and never contacted us again. Doing research I have found that she had another child soon after she left us. I often wonder if her latest child even knows we exist. I have all this to face when I do hopefully find her as I would like some answers. |
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~Summer Scribe~ | Report | 24 Nov 2007 16:43 |
Don't cut your dad out or she'll have won. You and I both know it's not a competition but to her it is and like you said, you'd think she'd be happy to be a sister and aunt. |
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Newby Kim | Report | 24 Nov 2007 17:07 |
Romany , my son has the same problem .just remember he is your Dad too , let her get on with it cos at the end of the day, she,s the one missing out on getting to know her step sister .. |