General Chat

I'm glad other people have managed to express their opinions more delicately than I could!

Depending how the advisor delivered her instructions, it does sound as if she was thinking laterally to try to come up with child minding solutions. If your daughter doesn't feel that becoming a registered childminder is for her, perhaps she can float the idea to some of the school gate mums? Could she speak to her health visitor to see if they have ideas?

Like others, I couldn't understand why she was expected to go back to work with such a young child. It's not unknown for some mothers to deliberately become pregnant with a further child to avoid that.

Could she become a delivery agent for online shopping catalogues, or deliver free papers around the area? How about Kleenezee (cleaning products) or something similar?

If there's lack of childcare in the area could she apply to do it or get qualified to do it, just wondered as that's what my nephew's wife did. She found over 90% of her wages were going on childcare. By the time she'd taken and bought them back and counted up the petrol costs she was in the red on her wages and into husband's.

She now has a thriving business, she started it as eldest went to school and looked after her youngest with the others. Wasn't as big a wage as her employment but she got to keep it all. :-) She really enjoys it, eldest at senior school youngest next year at seniors, she is staying with childcare.

Hi Claire....
Yes that's right,but it doesn't stop the JC calling claimants in to "discuss" looking for work etc before the youngest is 5!
In my daughters case she gets called in every 3 months,& she was told initially she had to look for work as far away as the next major town,in our case that's 35 miles away! & that was before she had a car!
However legally she only has to find a job within school hours,but there are not many of those around,& to do those sort of hours she needs to be closer to home not 35 miles away!

Joan.

Hello Florence, thanks for your reply.
There are 2 Avon ladies already in the nearby village,there were 3 but one gave up as there wasn't enough custom,& one of those still doing it has the monopoly over the village,but on saying that it IS a small village.
Being a rural area daughter would have to use her car & travel further from home & make enough in sales to cover her fuel etc,so that sort of thing is really not an option.
She cannot afford to use her car much, she walks whenever possible,she walks quite some distance to school & back several times a day in all weathers to save fuel!

She was a shop worker from before leaving school up until the 1st child came along,she was with her partner up until 3 years ago & he worked whilst they were together,she once worked in the village shop (before the children) but the owners are not in a position to take her on now because they have all the staff the need including their own 2 sons!

This is someone who wants to work & has tried but if she has no childcare available to her then she can't! & in my opinion those at the JC have to realise & how difficult it is for many to get back to work.
I have been in many a shop & seen people asking if there any jobs coming up,& seen their faces on being told no!

It doesn't help when someone behind a desk tells a claimant that if they don't try harder they will have their benefit reduced!
If the jobs & childcare are not there what on earth can she & others like her do? Such a worry.

Last November she was offered some seasonal work on the farm but she was unable to take it up because there was no childcare to be found anywhere!
Another mother at the school who actually had a job to go to (she was on Mat leave) & a husband but she needed childcare after school for both of her children but the minder didn't have the days she wanted, however she managed to change her days/hours to be able to use the minder but as she was "high" up in her workplace she didn't have a problem getting that!

Daughter has done some college work in the past but this has NOT led to employment.

Joan.

I thought they couldn't force a lone parent to look for work until the youngest child was at least 5

Hi Joan,
really sorry to learn of your daughter's situation, must be very difficult trying to juggle everything and keep the Job Centre happy.

I didn't work until my youngest was 4, my oldest 6. I had noone to look after them as all my family are 900 miles away. My inlaws already looked after another grandchild so they couldnt help. My other sil had her own 2 to look after.

My oh was fishing and it was feast or famine as he was classed as self employed. No fish ,no wage. We struggled for years on one wage!

One day i saw an advert for an Avon rep in this area. i applied and started going round the village with youngest in tow. I didn't make a fortune but there was no pressure to sell. Commission was based on sales, the more you sold the more you made.

Would she be interested in something like this maybe?

After my daughter had been ill with cancer and returned to school, i saw adverts with the local council for relief special needs auxiliaries. Had an interview and was checked etc then put on the list. Eventually I did a few posts until a nursery wanted me to take on 2 children.

Temp contracts to start with and now I have a perm job with a pension. yes i have been to college and graduated a few years ago and im over 50.

I never thought i would manage to get work again once I had my children, but after several years i did.

Tell your daughter to hang on in there and not to give up hope.As long as she is making an effort and can prove where she has applied to for work, then they cant fault her.

As for letting strangers look after her children and speaking to other single mums, that is out of order and going too far.

What was her field of work before she had the children?

i dont suppose a house move would be something she may consider if a job was available?

I hope she gets something soon and in the meantime, as long as she has your support by listening to her, she will be ok.

Will be thinking of you
Florence
in the hebrides <3

I have the opposite problem - too young to look after my grandchildren - I should be working :-(
Elder daughter works one weekend a month - when I have them, but can't help out before or after school, as she lives so far away - and, though not working at the moment, because of distance, not driving etc, still can't help.

Hi Joy.......
I wish we were a bit younger so that we could do that, unfortunately due to age & health issues we are not able to care for the grandchildren,we are just not able for that now, if we were to take them on & then something happened, illness or fall, our daughter would be stuck!
People can only claim the 70% childcare costs IF the person caring for the childen is registered or it's a nursery type establishment,thats great, but not much use if there are no places for ones children!

Hi R Rose........
It is not easy, the childcare situation is difficult so many mums working for whatever reason & not enough childcare facilities! & even more single mums being told to get out there & find someone to care for your children no matter who they are!! that's not right.
Legally our daughter doesn't "have" to find a job until the youngest starts full-time school,but even then she will still need to have childcare in place.
Childminders here charge to keep a place open,but even if there were places to keep she couldn't afford to do that, it could be months before she found work!.
There are so few jobs here, even the local supermarkets are not recruiting.

Joan.

I look after Baby Satan
so Stray can work and not have to pay childcare :-D :-D

Child care is very expensive in all areas
but the the parents are given 70% from the government

Joan, I was at the jobcentre a while ago and heard the youngish mum at the next desk in much the same circumstances, two young children, one not yet at school full time until Sept, one younger...I wasn't listening but it's hard not to hear when you are less than a few feet away. When one child slept the other woke at night and vice versa, so the mum was pretty drained by the morning obviously and was telling her advisor that to get to a job starting at nine would be very difficult to say the least and that she didn't have anyone else who could do school pick ups etc. I felt very sorry for her, because she was clearly trying.

Is there anything your daughter could do as self employment? 16 hours is the minimum ( if you have children) she could then claim working tax credits.

It's tough at the jobcentre these days! Particularly as the Universal credit rolls out, Most of the staff are just doing their best, but some are, imo, less than helpful... some only work part time themselves and are not well up on what is on offer, eg the new enterprise allowance scheme. One or two really go the extra mile and help as much as they can with bolstering confidence, helping with CVs etc, but some are clearly of the 'wield a big stick' variety... a few times I have heard older people ( lol I say older but some are younger than me) who are clearly struggling with the system or not used to computers to search for jobs , being threatened with sanctions.

.
..
...............my daughter had her third interview at the jobcentre today (every 3 months) she had a new advisor this time.
Now my daughter desperately wants a job but around here like MANY other parts of the UK there are not that many jobs about, but it's not just about getting a job she also requires childcare for her 2 children aged 6yrs & 3yrs, one is at school,the other attends the nursery in the afternoons at the same school.

Childcare in this area is at a premium & most facilities are out of the area where my daughter lives (rural) & currently there are no spaces even if she could get to them!
There are 2 childminders in the village nearest to where she lives & neither of them have spaces for children either before or after school,or during the school holidays.

The jobcentre advisor has told her she must be seen to be looking for work, & has to ask the 2 minders for proof that they do not have space for her children, AND to go & find out if there are any WORKING single mums living near her! & ask them how they manage re working & childcare, PLUS, see if there is anyone in the area who would look after the children OR perhaps have childen of their own that are old enough to babysit / care for her children if & when she does manage to get a job!!! BUT they couldn't be paid for doing so as that would be deemed "illegal" as they would not be registered or have even been vetted!!

Now I don't know about any of you but would you want to do that? & even if there was someone would you leave your young children in the care of someone you do NOT know?

This is such a worry for her, & upsetting, once again I have had to listen to her crying as she is so worried about what might happen re the next Jobcentre interview, & being "threatened" with having her money reduced etc,she's a good mum, doesn't smoke, drink or spend any money on herself, & doesn't have any friends, (her ex partner saw to that!) she's in her bed by 8-00,soon after the children are in their beds.
The only people she ever meets are those parents who take their own children to the local school,they might say hello & chat when waiting with the children,but they are not friends!

Her ex doesn't work, pleads health issues (not true) so lives on benefits, never out of the courts, found another girlfriend & had another child with her (since split up) CSA take £5 out of is benefit money to pay for 3 children of which my daughters 2 get £6 odd per fortnight.

Then comes Christmas & he calls round & leaves presents at the door totalling some £400 plus worth for the chldren!!
So where does he get the money for those I wonder?? he won't want to get an official job because if he does he would have 25% of his wages deducted to be pay for his children!
He's not supposed to go to daughters house for any reason (court order) & all the presents he leaves she gives to the Social Services.

Rant over!

Joan.