General Chat

growing tomatoes
>
> A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.
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> The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"
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> The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
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> Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best.
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> One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"
>
> "No," she replied "but my cucumbers are enormous.

nice one :-) :-)

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AnnCardiff - roflmao :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D shall we start the countdown now :-D

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Pmsl... :-D :-D :-D :-D

Two elderly ladies happen to meet at the market after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one of them asks how the other one's husband is doing.

"Oh, Ted died last week! He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

"Oh, dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend. "What did you do?"

"I opened a can of peas"!


:-D

PricklyHolly :-D :-D :-D

Just sown my toms today - Will have to instruct my OH !!

Luckily he can't be seen by the neighbours :-D :-D

I've turned colour of a tomato thinking about it.

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Now that really did make me laugh, AnnC.

Me too . . . and Prickles :-D :-D :-D

Yea :-D :-D I got Prickles too ;-)

Brilliant AnnC :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

GP

OMG :-D :-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep..
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck.." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked..

"To get my teeth!"
:-D

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By Gum that was funny ;-)

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:-D I must remember to tell that one to the bar staff at the golf club lolol

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Every one a winner.