General Chat

Let's see if we can retell the story and then some without his poor OH ending up in the bathroom all the time.......sorry in advance Allan :-D :-D


Allan awake on the day of the cruise in plenty of time. He put on his red dressing gown and white wig and proceed to read the morning newspaper tut-tutting as he read.
Suddenly..........

he was aware of an eerie apparition. Fortunately, it was only his wife who had applied a bit too much face cream.

..unfortunately, this only occurred to Allan 5 seconds AFTER he smacked the rolled up newspaper on her head......

The force of the newspaper was such, that his wife turned into the effigy of the person on the front page...

Their holiday had got off to its usual start, and as the cat licked the cream from his wife's face, Allan remarked that he was still not happy to be going away and that he might go back to bed

"That's what you think" said Theresa May....weird thought Allan, why's she in my kitchen...oh hang on her picture was on the front page. Theresa May kicked the cat as she yelled "Get that silly dressing gown off and pack your bags we're off soon.

Off to the Brecon Beacons - don't forget to pack your walking boots.

Walking boots?? She gets stranger every day...since when do I have walking boots? They won't go with my rolled up trousers silly woman.
Allan checked his bags one last time, hang on what's this hidden in the bottom of this one.....

The Book of Kells? This formed the basis for the Dallas series with JR known then as Bertie Ahern.

Allan returned the Book back to the Kells as he had no wish to upset his neighbours who had lent him many books over the years.

This trip was going to involve stomach churning excitement, not a holiday of relaxation.

Little did I know when we embarked on this mammoth undertaking just how stomach churning it would be.

Neither did my wife!

:-D

"Right" said Allan "have I got all the essentials....socks....dressing gown....granny pants..how did they get there....sea sickness pills...won't need them,,,,stomach upset medicine nope won't need that....ah there it is...my little black......."

pair of Speedos.
Must have those, in case there's a Karaoke machine - oh, and I must take that hat..

and the boa it just goes so well with all the other things.
Now finally where are the tickets.....I remember I hid them somewhere safe now where was it....oh I don't know why my nickname is Squirrels......ah there they are in my.....

upstairs toilet in the basement.. Where else would Allan listen to Neil MacGregor examining the roles & expressions of shared religious beliefs!

Which reminds me I need my Beats by Dre never listen to Neil without them.

Allen tried to close the zippers on his cases....gosh darn it too much stuff well the wife won't need all those dresses I've a feeling she'll be cabin bound for a while. Having thrown out most of her things he finally succeeded in closing the zippers....only to suddenly glance across the room his one and only......

Pumpkin Pie which was looking dry & dispirited in the season of mists & mellow fruitfulness

Oh might need that pie for a snack on the train, better put it under my hat so I don't lose it.
Come on lass let's get going, have you got the placard ready "train station or bust" no point wasting money on a taxi.....have you practiced flashing your knee I know I have".....

Later at the side of the dusty highway....Allan sitting on the cases watching OH flashing her knees to all the passing truckers.....when suddenly....

This was the point when he remembered that he might not have packed the stomach churn and what would be the point of the holiday without it?

You can never gainsay the weather when we usually expect wet & dismal Christmas school holidays.

Random thoughts had a habit of creeping into his mind...now will I need to get OH running off to the nearest store for said stomach churn...nah no point.....

Oh look this truck looks nice...well he's stopping...what's...what's that smell......oh no pigs.......

room for one little one inside other one in t'back fight it out amongst yourselves but be quick about it....I can feel my inside grumbling I'm either hungry or in need of the bathroom.....

Needless to say.......