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Bad childhood jokes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Allan

Allan Report 19 Dec 2022 22:18

What did the Pirate say at his eightieth birthday party?

Aye Matey!

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 1 Dec 2022 20:51

got stopped by old bill, and asked if i was on drugs.....


no i said cant you see its a motorbike?

Researching:
me and my darling wife at our wedding in 1960

Allan

Allan Report 1 Dec 2022 20:46

I accidentally drank some invisible ink,


I’m now in hospital waiting to be seen .

Allan

Allan Report 28 Nov 2022 22:41

Did you hear about the man who gave up his job as a fishmonger?


He said it was making him selfish

Caroline

Caroline Report 28 Nov 2022 12:42

:-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 27 Nov 2022 20:36

A guy just threw a glass of milk at me.


How dairy!

Tawny

Tawny Report 27 Nov 2022 18:54

I ate my cats food last night.

Don’t ask meow

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 27 Nov 2022 18:54

You know what they say about cliffhangers…….

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Allan

Allan Report 15 Nov 2022 22:55

Did you hear about the paranoid bloodhound?


He was convinced that people were following him.

Caroline

Caroline Report 13 Nov 2022 20:41

:-D :-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 11 Nov 2022 23:17

Did you hear that the price of duck feathers has risen?


So now even down is up.

JoyLouise

JoyLouise Report 22 Oct 2022 09:18


Allan. :-D :-D :-D

Britain’s Conservative Members of Parliament. :-0 :-S

Allan

Allan Report 21 Oct 2022 21:50

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?


Someone lying awake at night wondering about the true meaning of dog

Caroline

Caroline Report 21 Oct 2022 21:32

:-D :-D :-D :-D

LaGooner

LaGooner Report 20 Oct 2022 22:55

Groan :-D :-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 20 Oct 2022 22:03

. :-D :-D :-D

Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender
says, "Oh no, not U2 again."

Tawny

Tawny Report 20 Oct 2022 05:26

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Tawny

Tawny Report 20 Oct 2022 05:25

What do you call someone who puts poison in your cornflakes?

A cereal killer

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

Allan

Allan Report 14 Sep 2022 21:44

I was going to grow a herb garden, but I couldn’t find the thyme.

Tawny

Tawny Report 14 Sep 2022 21:36

My friend keeps trying to annoy me by using bird puns. Toucan play at that game.

Researching:
No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled. Nor will we proceed with force against him except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.

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