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Colin!

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

LadyScozz

LadyScozz Report 15 Apr 2014 06:07

Bob......... please see your doc asap.

I think your many medications are fighting.

Which one is winning?

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 14 Apr 2014 22:25

thank you Guinevere, got the Gist of it now,


but here's a different Colin!

COLIN, THE ABORIGINE


A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours.

He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood.. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters, from the BBQ and flirting.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.

Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool.
Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

The host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'

'No thanks... I don't want it,' answered Colin.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'

Again, Colin said "No."

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?

Colin said,







'I want the bugger who pushed me in.'











Bob

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 12 Apr 2014 00:35

just relaying some content, sent to me.....
made me smile, how about you?

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 11 Apr 2014 21:40

Now I am :-S :-S :-S :-S

What are you on Bob? :-D

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 11 Apr 2014 20:23

May 30th:
Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts
blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on
a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.


June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus
and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.


July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used
to this kind of heat? Too bad it's not a dry heat. Getting used to it is
taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.


July 20th:
I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and just as I opened the door
she exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the
kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shit. No more
pets in this heat!

July 25th:
Dry #@*&$!% heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air conditioner is on
the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he
needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in darn
house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?


Aug 4th:
115 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500
and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman peed in my
pool. I hate this #@*&$!% state.

Aug 8th:
If another wise jerk cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to
tear his #@*&$!% throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the
radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like
Roasted #@*&$!% Garfield!!


Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and sunny.
It's been too hot two #@*& darn months and the weatherman says it might
really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren darn
desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth
of cactus just dried up and blew into the #@*&$!% pool. Even a cactus
can't live in this heat.


Aug 14th:
Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the
window and blew the #@*&$!% windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer
came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to
spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th:
Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The #@*&$!%
monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than
hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500
windshield. That does it, we're moving back to California where all you
have to worry about is earthquakes.


Island

Island Report 11 Apr 2014 12:36

He should have gone for a great spotted instead of a lesser spotted :-D :-D

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 11 Apr 2014 12:11

A very old couple that have been married forever is sitting
on their porch one night. Suddenly, the old woman reaches over and smacks her husband knocking him off the porch and into the bushes.

He crawls back up and asks, 'What was that for?'

She says, 'For having a little pecker.'

He sits there quietly a moment, then smacks her, sending her off the other side of the porch and into the bushes.

She crawls back and says, 'What was that for?'

He says, 'For knowing there was more than one size.'

Wend

Wend Report 11 Apr 2014 12:03

Ooh - did you wax lyrical Bob? :-D

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 11 Apr 2014 12:01

Close!!
just bin to see the ear nurse!!

Wend

Wend Report 11 Apr 2014 11:58

*whispers* - I think Matron's taken Bob gently back to his room ;-)

Island

Island Report 11 Apr 2014 11:54

OH NOOOO!!!!!!


Look what we bin and done to Bobs fred :-0 :-0


Bob!



Fred!



Tsss.......



On me 'ead fred





>>>>>>>>>slopes orff..........



the divill made me do it Bob :-(

Guinevere

Guinevere Report 11 Apr 2014 11:50

Something about having an active social life because they are seeing her sister twice next week.

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 11 Apr 2014 11:43

Ref!


Ref!


Tssss........


Oi..........REF!!!!

Island

Island Report 11 Apr 2014 11:39

Over 'ere Col


Over 'ere



Tssss.....


Col!



Col!

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 11 Apr 2014 11:37

On me ead Colin.

Island

Island Report 11 Apr 2014 11:36

It'll be football then :-)

ButtercupFields

ButtercupFields Report 11 Apr 2014 11:21

Colin is a caterwauler innit

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 11 Apr 2014 10:57

Is Colin a slaphead?

Wend

Wend Report 11 Apr 2014 10:37

:-D @ Island

Island

Island Report 11 Apr 2014 10:27

Are you a Mason Bob?