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Puppies....just up your street Jonesey and Rob!
Glad your daughter is feeling better though J
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A Glaswegian is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he
comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to
walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher....
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Aye, I am.' So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'
The drunk replies, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus brother?'
The drunk again answers, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in
the water again but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found
Jesus?'
The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher, 'Are you sure this is where he fell in?
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Jonesey
glad to hear your daughter is feeling much better.
Your response re Christmas present is just what my OH would say :-D
I don't have to worry about OH this Christmas .................. I bought him a very good, expensive camera in the summer, as his anniversary, birthday and Christmas present :-D :-D
so all I have to find are my traditional "stocking stuffers" for him (we don't actually have stockings!) ................ pocket diary, desk diary, etc.
I've bought him a great desk diary for the last several years ............. it's called Forgotten English and has old forgotten words for each day in the year. It's fascinating!
But it is one of those that can be difficult to find ........ the store that sold it last Christmas may not have it this year, or they only got a couple in and I'm number 3 shopper wanting it!
I managed to find it yesterday when I went to the Mall ...... last one on the shelf.
s
xxx
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See Mr Jones is in his usual form. :-D
I have been looking in but am working a lot on my tree. Sorted a problem that has been puzzling me for a long time. Suddenly the answers are coming thick and fast,
I should be posting pictures of the Christmas window soon,
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
To everyone.
LK
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The old ones are the best Jonesey.............and you're one of the best old ones that I know :-D :-D
Glad to hear that your daughter is recovering and congratulations on the new arrivals..... :-D
I've only recently seen those air fryer things advertised and meant to look at how they work.
Lucky you and your breakthrough LK............sounds like you've been having fun. When's Lainie due back on her laptop??
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Forwarded from OH
Checking out at the supermarket, the young cashier suggested to the
older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic
bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing
back in my earlier days."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not
care enough to save our environment for future generations."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to
the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and
sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and
over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing
back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store
and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb
into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But
she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the
throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling
machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our
clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from
their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that
young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every
room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief
(remember them?), not a screen the size of Belgium . In the kitchen, we
blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to
do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the
mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or
plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn
gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human
power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club
to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We
didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or
a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled
writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the
razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just
because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back
then.
Back then, people took the train or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to
school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi
service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of
sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized
gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in
space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old
folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson
in conservation from a smartass young person.
Remember: Don't make old people mad.
We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to
piss us off. :-D
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Very good LK :-D
Just been looking at some American persons tree and quite impressed they have managed to get back to before Jesus was born :-D
I wonder how much is fabricated rubbish....probably most of it
Looking good in I'm a celebrity just got to knock out Antony Cotton tomorow then there will be three Essex people in the final :-D
ja...x
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Breakfast is ready
Tea, coffee, juices
Cold cereals:-
Corn Flakes, MultiGrain Cheerios, AllBran, Muesli, Rice Crispies, Granola
Hot cereal:-
Porridge, Yellow Corn Grits (gluten-free)
In the warmer:-
maple smoked bacon, turkey sausages, cheesy potato patties, potato farls, smoked salmon omelette, spinach, feta and tomato omelette, cheesy sausage and egg bake, boiled eggs, grilled tomatoes, grilled mushrooms, Maple baked beans, fried bread, black pudding, white pudding
bacon & cheese quiche, cheese and onion tarts, broccoli and cheddar quiche
Ulster Fry-up, stirfry (chicken, beef, or vegetarian)
Maille Croque Monsieur (French ….. basically ham, cheese and tomato sandwich on toasted bread, with Maille Mustard), Caribbean Banana Fritters, Veggie Wrap (Fresh Tomatoes, Basil, Roasted Peppers and Feta Cheese)
Buttermilk Dollar Pancakes, Peanut Butter Crunch French Toast, Maple syrup, Peach Syrup, Saskatoon Berry Fruit Syrup, Blueberry & Brandy Syrup
Peach Yoghurt, Blueberry Yoghurt, Vanilla Bean Yoghurt
Toast (sourdough, rye, white, whole grain, 100% brown, Hovis, gluten free), Danish, hot cinnamon rolls
Muffins -- morning glory muffins, blueberry muffins, raisin bran muffins, gluten-free cranberry and orange muffins
Jams, jellies, lime marmalade, 3 fruit marmalade, marmite, peanut butter, vegemite
enjoy
s
xxx
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Thanks for breakfast Sylvs.....looks like theres only me around to dig in :-D
Ja..x I reckon its either Anthony or Mark to win, shame Anthony is such a bitch and Mark sounds so dumb
Glad Willy was kicked out.......hes got bigger boobs than most women :-0
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Is there something that I should know?
Has the end of the world been announced while I was in the kitchen????
This board hasnt moved in ages and where are you lot??
Sigh and finishes breakfast all alone :-(
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Don't know about Dea but I is here. Just. Been trying to check bank statements against ISP statement etc. Talk about long-winded!
Thank you for breakfast Sylvs.......another coffee would go down a treat.
I remember that one LK and thought it was good. Does make you feel old though doesn't it?
Don't watch Celebrity now as I rarely know the celebrities!! Have watched it in the past when there has been someone I recognise on it.
OH is on a go slow this morning so it probably means we won't go out for lunch grrrrrrrrrr Every other morning this week he has been up and around. Men!
Deaaaaaaaa?
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You could meet me for lunch at Ikea Cyns
Is the store near you?
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Oh gowed....just as Im about to jum in the shower the window cleaner arrives!
Best wait a bit as there is no blind on the window :-0
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Ah Jax maybe that was my American cousin. The one that got back to the Greek gods on Olympia.
She still has not modified her tree to get her grandmother right.
pm me the tree name please. ;-) ;-)
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Gins......get some blinds on that window pronto........you don't want your poor window cleaner falling off his ladder in shock.......and shocked he would be poor man!
My nearest IKEA is the Warrington store. One day maybe.
Have had a sandwich and now threatened him that he is coming to Tesco with me in penance ;-)
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I didnt get to Ikea after all, went to Dunelm Mill instead
Bought a hall mirror, a wooden HOME wall art for the newly decorated porch, a smelly candle and a big new wall clock for the kitchen
All came to under £30!!! Id been looking at mirrors online and was seeing prices up to £300
Enjoy your shopping at Tesco Cyns.....exciting life you lead!
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How does one "jum" in a shower ..... lucky window cleaner
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Last one posted 2X tried to delete one "Sorry page experienced error ...." will have to try later as my plane is about to board
R
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Should have had a P ....R
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